Women’s Health: Caring for Yourself and Being Your Own Advocate

Source: Wayne Jonas/ Used with permission

Speak up for yourself. Be strong. Ask for what you need.

If you’re naturally assertive, this might be easy for you. Why wouldn’t you be your own best advocate for your health care?

But being your own advocate can be tough. Some people, especially women, are brought up to view their doctors as the ultimate authorities on health and disease (and yes, those doctors were often men). Others are simply less outspoken or may not realize what they can do to make their health care fit their lives—instead of accommodating prescription costs or side effects. Others have language or cultural barriers with their providers or simply do not feel comfortable with them.

Read on for strategies to be your own healthcare advocate, no matter your personal style or background.

Find a supportive person

Winnie, 82, was brought up to believe that “the doctor knows best.” Doing what he said without question was the route to good health. But her granddaughter helped her speak up about how difficult it was to get to her yearly mammogram now that walking was difficult. She had to walk a long way from the parking lot to the X-ray center. Shantelle, Winnie’s granddaughter, suggested she ask her doctor if she still needed a mammogram every year.

Getting someone else’s perspective on your health care can be helpful in advocating for yourself. Support can be especially important for Black and Indigenous women who may feel unsafe in the healthcare system. Examples of support organizations include Sisters Network, Inc., dedicated to supporting Black women with breast cancer, and Community Outreach and Patient Empowerment (COPE), which advocates for better health care for American Indian and Alaska Native people.

Jasmine Souers from the Missing Pink Breast Cancer Alliance shared how she advocated for her grandmother during cancer treatment on my podcast, How Healing Works. Her oncologists were quick to rush to treatment after discovering a secondary cancer, but they didn't consider waiting for a biopsy before rushing to treatment. Turns out, the cancer was a different type of cancer than the first and wouldn't have been responsive to that type of chemo. With her organization, she now creates resources to help people be advocates for themselves during cancer treatment.

Finding a supportive person can be as simple as asking a friend, sister, or daughter to come to an appointment with you, take notes, and ask questions. If you’re not comfortable starting a conversation, they might do it, or give you moral support.

Consider your provider a partner

Thinking of your healthcare provider as a partner, instead of an authority figure, can help you speak up. Dental hygienist Michelle says, “Instead of pretending you floss every day, tell me if it’s a challenge for you.” She can recommend other flossing tools or an app that reminds you to do it regularly.

A doctor’s appointment is not a test of how much you know, and your provider may actually be happy you’re asking questions. When Veronica asked her doctor why a low-salt diet was so important in treating high blood pressure, her doctor explained and gave her a recipe booklet—in Spanish, because Veronica prefers to read in that language.

If your healthcare provider seems irritated by your questions or you simply don’t feel comfortable with them, it’s fine to look for someone else.

Ideally, your healthcare provider is someone with whom you feel quite comfortable. They should have time for you within the limits of a reasonable appointment. You’ll probably be most comfortable with someone who has similar values and perhaps even shares your interests, especially if those affect your health.

Miriam, a marathon runner, has several issues common to long-distance athletes. She consulted one doctor after another for years before she finally found a provider who understood her low salt levels. Who was that doctor? A long-distance runner herself.

Finding a doctor for your specific condition

Perimenopause can be a puzzle. Saida, 43, had frequent vaginal yeast infections that prompted one healthcare provider to run diagnostic tests for diabetes. When she consulted a gynecologist, she learned that declining estrogen levels in perimenopause were responsible and finally got a treatment that worked. The North American Menopause Society can provide additional resources.

Chronic pain is another condition that can send women from one provider to another. This type of pain may result from a previous injury or psychological trauma. In general, women are more likely than men to experience chronic pain. Several conditions that cause it, from fibromyalgia to endometriosis to migraines, are more common in women or only occur in women. The American Chronic Pain Association has support groups across the United States.

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Choose health care that fits your life

It’s a simple form of self-advocacy: Fit your health care to your life. This can be as simple as recognizing that you don’t need to take the very first appointment you are offered on your provider’s schedule. Yes, you need to get that screening test or exam. But no, you don’t have to cancel a vacation or lunch with friends. Those activities are good for your health, too.

Let your provider’s office know which days and times are best for you, and ask for appointments at those times. Online scheduling can make this easier. You may need to adjust your schedule if the provider you want to see is only available on certain days of the week.

You can also advocate for yourself by sharing your treatment experiences. Tell your provider:

• If your medication is too expensive, even after your insurance pays part of the cost.
• If medication causes uncomfortable side effects.
• If you have pain, anxiety, or depression.
• Whether the treatment seems to be working or not.

Finding a doctor of your race, ethnicity, or culture

• You can visit BlackDoctor.org to look up a Black healthcare provider.
• Is it easier to talk with a provider in the language you know best? Learn how to find a bilingual, healthcare professional.
• Native American and Alaska Native women can use the Find Health Care feature of the Indian Health Service to look for a clinic or provider.
• To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.