Turning Appreciation to Encouragement in the Workplace

Being mindful of their desired ways of appreciation, how can we thoughtfully show our appreciation for others at work to help them cope during COVID-19? In the second part of this interview, Paul White expands on how we can use his research to help and encourage others in the midst of the pandemic.

Source: Paul White, used with permission

Dr. Paul White is a psychologist, researcher, and leadership trainer who “makes work relationships work." Dr. White is the co-author of the bestselling book, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, which has sold over 500,000 copies (written with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the #1 NY Times bestseller, The 5 Love Languages). He has written articles for and been interviewed by BusinessWeek, CNN/Fortune, Entrepreneur, Fast Company, U.S. News and World Report, and The Washington Post. His expertise has been requested by NASA, the Centers for Disease Control, the Mayo Clinic, Microsoft, Facebook, and numerous other national and multinational organizations.

This is part two of a two-part interview with Dr. Paul White; you can find Part 1 here.

Jamie Aten: How might readers apply what you found to their lives during COVID-19?

Paul White: The most important lesson we have learned over time is that each person is unique in how they want to be shown appreciation and encouraged. While groups of employees demonstrate some patterns, it is important to remember that there are individuals in each group (remote or onsite, age group) that defy the group patterns. Some 20-year-olds do like Tangible Gifts, even though as a group that is not a frequent preference.

Similarly, just knowing a person’s Primary Language of Appreciation is typically not sufficient to “hit the mark” because knowing the specific actions within their preferred language is just as important. For example, in the language of Quality Time, younger employees tend to want to spend time with one another, while older employees are more likely to value time with their supervisor or manager. (As a result, in our online inventory we assess both a person’s preferred language and the specific actions they desire.)

JA: How can readers use what you found to help others amidst this pandemic?

PW: We have found that for many, encouragement is actually a higher need currently than appreciation. Since most of us are still having to adapt to changes in our work lives (location, less personal interaction, how meetings are conducted, more electronic communication, hybrid work), we are continuing to have to learn alternative ways of getting our work done and how to collaborate effectively with others. This creates stress (as a result of the lack of “doing things as usual”) and new challenges and obstacles are encountered that we have to overcome.

Fortunately, colleagues and leaders can use the same languages of appreciation and desired actions to encourage their team members as they do when communicating appreciation — the time focus just differs. Appreciation tends to focus on the past — what the person has done or positive characteristics demonstrated. Conversely, encouragement is focused on the present and future — coming alongside a colleague and supporting them when they are battling to overcome a barrier they’ve encountered to completing a project they are working on.

JA: What are you currently working on that you might like to share?

PW: We have two areas that we are currently focused on. First, continuing to provide organizational leaders and their employees with practical tools and resources to enable them in supporting and encouraging those with whom they work. In these challenging times of transition between remote, hybrid, and onsite work, people need help in learning how to stay connected with each other and how to show authentic appreciation and encouragement. Our Appreciation at Work training resources give leaders and groups easy-to-use materials and processes for both remote and onsite employees.

Secondly, Dr. Chapman, Dr. Jennifer Thomas, and I are completing a book due out in early 2022 entitled Making Things Right at Work where we offer the strategies needed to deal with conflicts at work and how to restore harmony with others. We address:

• How to discern the causes of workplace conflict
• How to avoid unnecessary disputes
• How to repair relationships when you’ve messed up
• How to let go of past hurts and rebuild trust.

We believe it is highly needed and will be a valuable resource to help create more positive workplaces.