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I’ve written before about how the “domestic internet” – lifestyle blogs, Pinterest, parenting sites, Facebook – gives us a historically unprecedented peek into other people’s home lives. And, as we all know, this peek can create all kinds of ugly self-comparison.
Lately, women are beginning to talk about the psychological effects of spending hours a week staring into someone else’s heavily curated Blog Life. For example, I’ve noticed this Power of Moms essay floating around on my Facebook news feed lately, via some of my friends with young kids.
In the essay, the writer decides to go on Pinterest for the first time. Big mistake.
There it was–1,000 reasons why I’m failing at all things domestic…I don’t make grilled cheese sandwiches look like ice cream. I don’t even have seasonal throw pillows on my couches or live plants anywhere in the house. Is it really so hard? Can’t I pull myself together and wrap some candles in green foliage and bring happiness to our decor with bright fabrics and hand-crafted photo frames?
I’m sure some of you can relate to the feeling. Personally, I don’t give a damn about my lack of throw pillows and hand-crafted photo frames. But I do occasionally go into self-hate spirals looking at food and fashion blogs, especially given the fact that I spend most of my time on my couch, alone with my laptop, wearing cut-off sweatpants and eating Trader Joe’s chocolate-covered almonds. Why aren’t I headed to a themed potluck with a rustic apple tart in hand? Why can’t I make my stupid hair look cute in a “messy ballerina bun”? If I could, would I be happier? These bloggers sure look happy!
We all know, of course, that bloggers are usually only showing the pretty sides of their lives. That’s what lifestyle blogging is about. So why is this self-comparison so irresistible?
Jezebel, in a classic post on the dangerous allure of lifestyle blogs, explains it perfectly:
Because, whereas Martha [Stewart] and her ilk may have preached a gospel of aspiration, this world is all about attainability. All these folks are young, on a budget, and, presumably, have day-jobs — or at least have the motivation to busy themselves with the less-glamorous end of their creative jobs (like uploading stuff, and bookkeeping) some of the time. Theoretically, you could do all this — you, too, could (and should) be living a beautiful life. But most of us are simply not skillful enough, or committed enough to beauty or, as I always end up morosely chastising myself, pure enough of heart to attain it — let alone make it look so good online. Some of us have to watch SVU reruns instead.
Well said! Substitute “SVU reruns” for “Kitchen Nightmares,” and you’ve basically got my life.
