Overcoming Transgenerational Transmission

It is important to become aware of the impact of the past. A look back at the past centuries and what women have experienced includes witch burning, rapes, lawlessness, death in childbirth, then two world wars for which Germany was largely responsible. This experience has an impact on subsequent generations. In technical terms, this phenomenon is referred to as transgenerational transmission: Severe experiences of violence by perpetrators and victims cause traumas that continue to manifest themselves in subsequent generations. Freud referred to this process as “emotional inheritance”. Psychotherapy suggests that this phenomenon can have an effect over several generations.

Even though other countries and people were also heavily traumatized by wars, one can still derive a national specificity from its history in Germany, which twice a perpetrator nation and war loser in a short period of time. At the end of the wars, Germans primarily saw themselves as victims—because of the demands for reparations by the victorious powers, severe famine as a result of the war, arbitrary rule suffered under the Nazis, widespread bombings of cities and civilian populations, and the rapes and murders of women and children.

What does this mean for women?

The question of equal treatment of women, especially the parity occupation of leadership positions, is closely related to German history: A mixture of deep-seated and blocking shame, guilt, overestimation, and denial continues to have an effect in the country and manifests itself in subsequent generations; among other ways, in the form of obedience, the establishment of taboos, deep-seated (failure) fears, radicalization, or the admiration of human hardness in all areas of social and economic life. The result is that both men and women may dissociate from feelings and fulfill—or hide behind—predefined roles, adapting emotionlessly to their respective models. But behind the facade of a role or function, even with expertise, personalities fade and may appear hollow.

Both genders are still subject to the pull of their parents’ or grandparents’ generation’s traumas. The usual leadership habitus still seems to orient itself toward the supposedly stronger man. Women often prefer to stay in the second row, even though their skills and their special system relevance—in the job as well as in the family—are undisputed.

In addition, both genders have a high need for security regarding their identity. They are therefore tempted to preserve traditional behavior and fulfill their prescribed role assignments. This phenomenon occurs on both a conscious and unconscious level: Men may seek power and expect obedience, and women may adapt. This is in stark contrast to the fact that more women than men have higher educational and professional qualifications, marriages no longer guarantee security and stability, and both men and women now have to contribute to family income.

If you believe corporate press releases, companies do a lot for women; diversity is the buzzword of the hour. The political pressure is high. Flags in rainbow colors fly and social media posts give the impression that diversity and compatibility are the foci of corporte decisions. But if you take a look behind the facades of corporate headquarters and talk to employees, a different picture emerges.

Those who look more closely get the impression that German companies are secretly in a state of war or in a hierarchical state of rigidity. Opponents can always be found if needed: the competitor, the customer, the service provider, or female (and often also male) employees who do not fit into the concept of the decision-makers. The motto inside seems to be: Everyone against everyone. In the fight for the resources of leadership position, profit and bonuses, or attention and image, the stronger one will prevail. The means of this fight are open and hidden aggressions, belittling and softening people (e.g., by excluding them from meetings, mail distribution lists, or assignment of leadership positions), bullying, pronounced control behavior, and dominance behavior up to choleric outbursts of managers, to name just a few. By the way, these behaviors are not only observed in men, but increasingly also in women in leadership positions.

But many workers, especially women and members of Generation Z, are no longer interested in the battlefield or in obedience. Younger individuals are not as heavily burdened in the context of transgenerational transmissions as older collegues. They have enough distance from the traumas of their grandparents' or great-grandparents' generations. Divorces today not only occur because the dissolution of a marriage is no longer sanctioned by society, but because women are seeking partnerships on an equal footing and that requires men who are able to live that equality, to share household and child-rearing fairly, and to support women's freedom to set their own career paths.

German women in new times want equality, but we still feel a long way from it.