Body Image Problems Are Everybody’s Problem

This is the first post in a series.

Quite often, body image is discussed as if it were an issue that resides in and belongs only to the individual person. And because it is often seen as a personal problem, much advice aims to change how girls or women feel about and behave toward their own bodies. But the reality is that body image does not exist as some isolated entity within girls or women, and it is not solely constructed or altered by them.

In recent years, public awareness has grown about the ways media and advertising can influence women’s body image. But people who are important to us also contribute to how we feel about our bodies. In our forthcoming book on girls’ body image development, we have emphasized the importance of mothers as the key role models for their daughters in this domain. Recently, the father of a young girl asked us what he could do to support his daughter, and this question raised an important point: Although moms have a big influence on their daughters’ developing body image, other social relationships matter as well. In this three-part series, we explore the relationships, and relationship dynamics, that shape how girls and women feel about their bodies. Starting with men, we examine the ways that our social relationships co-construct body image.

So, how is a girl’s or woman’s body image relevant to a man? This can take different forms depending on age and developmental timepoint. Fathers might overhear their young daughters reject a particular food because it is “fattening,” or see their teenage daughters agonize over perceived flaws. One man might hear his girlfriend worry that she doesn’t look pretty enough for a party, while another might see his wife struggle with negative feelings about her postpartum body. These examples illustrate that men are affected by how women feel about their bodies and that they have opportunities to take an active role in shaping the body image of women and girls they love. In what ways can they seize these opportunities to help?

• Take stock of values, specifically those related to how women should be viewed and treated. Men are encouraged to examine how their values line up with the messaging in the products they buy or the media they consume. For example, sports culture can perpetuate sexist and toxic attitudes toward women’s bodies. Nowhere was this more evident than during the recent Summer Olympics where the switch from bikini bottoms to leggings by some female beach volleyball players was met with negative reactions from some viewers. Unfortunately, sports consumption is associated with more objectification of women (Seabrook et al., 2018). Of course, there are many enjoyable aspects and benefits of watching and participating in sports. Celebrate athleticism while taking care to avoid sexualizing women. For those who have daughters, this will help them pay attention to what is important about athletics.
• Take care with any comments made about women. Men should avoid objectifying women (for example, talking about particular body parts, staring at women, etc.). Research indicates that objectification experiences compound over time and ultimately are bad for women’s mental health (Fredrickson & Roberts, 1997; Gervais et al., 2011). Men are encouraged to make comments about women that treat them holistically, as people, and appreciate other aspects of who they are besides their appearance. In a culture that constantly directs our attention to women’s appearance, men may not realize when they are staring, but their partners and daughters do.
• Refrain from commenting on what women and girls eat, even those in their own family. Moralizing the types of foods people eat (for example, fast food, sodas, desserts) as good or bad, or criticizing the amounts people eat are habits that communicate powerful messages about cultural expectations and standards for bodies. These messages are understood and taken to heart by those around you, including the woman or girl you love. And they simply aren’t helpful. In a similar vein, refrain from commenting on others’ bodies, especially when it comes to descriptions of weight. Research indicates that this type of talk can be especially damaging for girls when it comes from their fathers (Klein et al., 2016). And this includes comments about your own body.
• Respect (even appreciate) the dramatic changes that girls’ and women’s bodies undergo throughout the lifespan. It should come as no surprise that all bodies change throughout the life course for a variety of reasons. For girls and women, some of these changes are particularly significant, biologically and emotionally. For example, there are natural, visible changes that occur at puberty, with childbirth, and at menopause. Comments such as “she’s an early/late bloomer,” “she’s let herself go,” or “she isn’t aging well,” are not only inconsiderate, but do not reflect a realistic expectation of developmental change. Besides, body changes can be positive and negative, and over many years, both are likely to occur (Tiggemann, 2004).
• Increase awareness of the appearance-related pressures women face. Men can help by taking note of advertisements, portrayals of women in TV shows, etc. How much do the women and girls in their lives subscribe to these ideals and experience pressures from them? How are their behaviors (for example, dieting, editing photos) guided by these pressures? Men can also help by becoming aware of their partner’s body image triggers and how they can best support her when she experiences body image concerns.

Men, women, and children—we are all immersed in our appearance-focused culture. No single factor is to blame for women’s negative views about their bodies. Indeed, men face both increasing pressures to conform to appearance ideals and increasing objectification. Recently, a male summer Olympic athlete who was singled out for his appearance in a swimsuit expressed a desire that the focus remain on his athletic achievements. So, we know that the problem is not unique to women. For too long, however, women’s and girls’ body image has been understood as a personal problem. Recognizing that men can play an active role in building healthy body image in the women and girls they love can be empowering for men. Recognizing that each of us has a responsibility to play an active role is a necessary first step toward solving the problem of negative body image. Women’s and girls’ health—both physical and mental—is strengthened considerably by men’s allyship.