How to Talk About Suicide

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As a psychiatrist, suicide is a topic that comes up at every visit. I begin all of my appointments by asking patients if they have thoughts about wanting to hurt themselves or other people. While the question can feel somewhat like checking a box, it’s still important to ask. Many people live with suicidal thoughts daily, and frequently they are just waiting for someone to talk to about what they are feeling. There are over 130 suicides every day in the United States alone. Think about that for a minute.

After the recent death of Cheslie Kryst, I have thought even more about suicide, its early warning signs, and whether it’s a topic we should be talking about at all. There’s some concern about the suicide contagion effect and the observation that our tendency toward imitation may increase the risk of future suicides after people learn of a suicide via media coverage or word of mouth. Some people interpret this idea as suggesting that suicide is a topic we should avoid talking about altogether.

While I admit it’s an area that mental health researchers are actively investigating, at this point, there’s no evidence-based suggestion that we should avoid talking about suicide. Research has shown that inquiring about suicide can actually protect against future suicides.

In my practice, I also sometimes notice that patients are reluctant to disclose suicidal ideation if I don’t explicitly ask, which should serve as a reminder that there are probably even more people in the community who may be struggling with similar thoughts but feel like they don’t have anyone to talk to.

Christine Moutier is a suicide prevention expert whom I've had the privilege of interviewing about this topic. She’s also co-authored a book on suicide prevention. When it comes to the suicide contagion effect, Moutier and her colleagues point out that humans' hard-wiring for imitation may be related to mirror neurons, which may explain the contagion effect. They go on to say that vulnerable youth are particularly at risk: Between 1 and 5 percent of teen suicides are thought to be related to the contagion effect. We saw this phenomenon amplified in the public conversation about the Netflix series 13 Reasons Why.

So how should we productively talk about suicide and potentially prevent future suicides? When we have conversations about suicide, we want to avoid glorifying the deceased or discussing in detail how they died. Instead, we should make sure that we inquire about feelings and experiences in a supportive way and encourage professional mental healthcare.

I devoted a chapter of my book, The Self-Healing Mind: An Essential Five-Step Practice for Overcoming Anxiety and Depression, and Revitalizing Your Life, to the topic of suicide. One of the people I interviewed is a remarkable man named Kevin Hines who survived a suicide attempt two decades ago and has since become an inspiring suicide prevention activist. His story serves as a reminder that it is possible and even likely to move beyond suicidal thinking, but it starts with speaking up about it.

If you or someone you love is contemplating suicide, seek help immediately. For help 24/7, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK, or reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741. To find a therapist near you, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.