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Key points
- You can't always be with your child, but if your child needs to reach you in an emergency, there needs to be a plan—discussed beforehand.
- Emergency communication might need to be discreet, but it should be clear to the recipients.
- Children and parents should have at least one important phone number memorized in the event of an emergency.
- If your child is unable to speak freely in a crisis, having a preplanned emergency code gives your child a safe way to communicate clearly.
Talking to your kids about personal safety and emergency preparedness is important yet complicated. Finding the most appropriate approach can be difficult. The conversations involve potentially scary and dangerous situations. It might seem more straightforward to use fear to emphasize the importance of situational awareness and other aspects of personal safety. But that approach might miss the mark when a fearful response results in avoidance of further discussion.
Emergencies are, in fact, scary. Fear is a natural response. However, survival is the ultimate goal when personal safety is compromised. Talking about survival does not have to be driven by fear. On the contrary, proactive safety planning should be an empowering experience for your family unit.
Personal safety is not a game, but practice and a little fun can reinforce it.
Safety involves education and communication. Communication can begin at home with you, your children, or the rest of your family unit. Furthermore, how to communicate in an emergency should be an early topic to address.
If you’re unsure where to begin, try working on these three manageable and actionable steps to develop an emergency communication plan with your loved ones.
Memorize telephone numbers
Memorizing telephone numbers isn’t as commonplace as it used to be. Contact information is generally saved in cell phones today. Many children have cell phones, but they may not always be with them. While technology can be excellent and convenient, it isn't always available, and it doesn't always work when needed the most.
Every child should learn 9-1-1 or another standard emergency number for your region. In addition to that, challenge yourself and your family unit to memorize at least one other telephone number. This number should be a number most likely to be answered when your family is typically separated.
For example, if you don't always have your cell phone with you at work, but your office has another number answered during business hours, your child should memorize this number. If an emergency happens at school, your child can reach you from memory if needed.
Share your locations
With a vast majority of the population carrying cell phones, most members of your household probably has one. Cell phones with location-sharing capabilities can usually grant access to others. If you're unsure how to access or modify these features, contact your service provider or manufacturer's website.
This access shouldn't be a means of excessive control or a violation of personal boundaries. Have a conversation with your family and determine for yourselves if this is an appropriate safety step for your household. If you decide location sharing is a good fit, emphasize that you're collectively acknowledging that in an emergency, access to this information could be crucial to safety and survival.
For example, if you live in a climate with cold winters and your teenager gets lost or gets into a vehicular accident in harsh conditions, the other family members would be able to see the phone's location, which is likely the location of its owner.
Develop an emergency communication code
In a crisis or emergency, clear communication is crucial. Law enforcement and military members often use a coded transmission to relay important information. Outside the agencies, such communications may sound like another language full of acronyms and numbers. However, the communications—coded and vague as they may appear—are crystal clear to those who need to hear the information.
If you need help, the most straightforward way to express that immediate need is to say, "I need help." But emergencies are rarely simple, and a few code words or phrases can make all the difference if a loved one cannot speak freely to you at that moment.
One fun way to start this communication plan is to establish code names for yourselves. The Secret Service assigns code names to presidents, vice presidents, and their respective families. For example, former first lady Nancy Reagan's code name was Rainbow. Find a code name that is easy to say and not easily confused with another word when spoken.
When developing a communication code that works for your family, think about how that code could be expressed in verbal, written, and visual forms. In addition, take into consideration the age and maturity level of those involved. Younger children likely need a more accessible code. Older children might be able to memorize a more detailed code. As the family grows and matures, revisit this code and adjust it to suit your needs.
There are many ways to develop an emergency communication code. For younger family members, it might make sense to have a color-themed code.
Here is an example:
Code Red = I'm hurt.
Code White = I'm lost.
Code Blue = I need help.
If a family member is hurt, there are a few ways to communicate this. "I'm hurt" would be explicit and overt. But covertly, it could be communicated as a "Code Red" in verbal or written form within a phone call or text message. You could also communicate a "Code Red" visually by pointing to or referencing something red. If the intention is to relay that another family member is hurt, their respective code name with "red" will communicate the information.
Referencing a "Code Red, White, and Blue" would indicate that all three are factors for this particular color code.
You could also expand the color code to include numbers referring to different locations if location-sharing options fail or are unavailable.
Here is an example for location codes:
1 = Home
2 = School
3 = Work
4 = Other frequented location.
The color and numerical codes can provide quick and clear communication. For example, if your loved one has an emergency at school and needs help, indicating “Blue 2” or even “B2” would suffice.
One emergency communication code may not be suitable for all family units. Develop your own, and allow the conversation and planning to be serious as well as fun. Practice it occasionally when you're together to keep the information fresh.
Just like a Secret Service protection assignment, everyone’s safety at the end of the day is the ultimate goal. Most of the time, the days are uneventful and go as expected. But the regular days do not negate the need for practicing emergency communication.
Regularly talking about safety and communication plans promotes unity and empowerment. The underlying message is not one of fearful preparedness. By talking about emergencies and creating an appropriate and clear communication plan with your loved ones, you're transmitting a message of strength—individually and collectively—as a family unit.
