Self-Esteem
How to Feel Better Quickly When Something Makes You Feel Bad
Research shows why recognizing the benefits of self-affirmation is important.
Posted January 16, 2024 Reviewed by Michelle Quirk
Key points
- Self-threats come in many forms, such as being ignored, getting negative feedback, and experiencing rejection.
- Self-affirmation can mitigate self-threats.
- Self-affirmation involves reflecting on what you value the most in life (e.g., love, freedom, justice).
Published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, a recent study by Reeves et al. found that coping decisions can be predicted based on individual differences in self-affirmation beliefs.
Specifically, when feeling threatened, people who recognize the benefits of self-affirmation beliefs are more likely to use this effective coping strategy.
What is self-affirmation?
Human beings generally desire to see themselves in a positive light. However, maintaining positive self-views requires coping effectively with many threats to the sense of self.
To illustrate, a person’s sense of self may be threatened by critical comments from their husband or wife, a negative work evaluation, low grades at school, or social rejection by strangers.
An effective coping response to self-threats is called self-affirmation, which means affirming one’s values, whatever these values happen to be.
The list of values is indeed long: authenticity, modesty, self-care, bravery, justice, compassion, love, encouragement, forgiveness, optimism, friendship, gratitude, originality, self-control, sense of humor, wisdom, freedom and liberty, and many more.
Affirming values is important because it bolsters the perceived integrity of the self. Namely, it promotes the view that one’s self is good, competent, adaptive, whole, in control, and capable of making free choices.
Of course, self-affirmation is not the only way or even the most common way people respond to self-threats. More common reactions include engaging in denial, rumination, and worry.
For instance, a heavy drinker’s coping mechanisms may involve downplaying the health risks associated with excessive alcohol intake. Similarly, a victim of bullying may cope with the abuse by alternating between ruminating over the details of the bullying incidents and using escape/distraction (e.g., playing computer games, watching porn).
Needless to say, these coping techniques are not very effective.
So, when do people choose the self-affirmation strategy?
To answer this question, Reeves et al. explored people’s self-affirmation perceptions and the consequences of these beliefs in a series of studies.
Investigating perceptions of the benefits of self-affirmation
The first investigation included MTurk and Prolific workers (N = 908); the second comprised MTurk workers and undergraduate students (N = 202); and the third was composed of MTurk and Prolific workers (N = 400).
Two types of beliefs were examined. The first type was situation differentiation beliefs—beliefs about when it is useful to employ self-affirmation for self-threat scenarios as opposed to other negative scenarios (e.g., dealing with frustrations or physical pain).
The second type concerned comparative efficacy beliefs—thoughts about the efficacy of self-affirmation strategies compared to alternative strategies of coping.
Which alternative coping mechanisms? Specifically: “Reflecting on unimportant values (Studies 1a–1c), thinking positively (Study 2a), affirming in the threatened domain (Study 2b), and recounting (Studies 3a and 3b).”
Finally, Studies 3a and 3b induced self-threat to explore whether the choice of coping strategies (i.e., engaging in self-affirmation vs. alternatives) may be predicted by individual differences in understanding the benefits of self-affirmation.
To give the reader an idea of the kinds of scenarios used, here is an example of upward comparison, which is intended to be experienced as self-threatening:
Please write a short story about a recent time in your life when you and someone with whom you are closely associated (such as your friend, relative, or coworker) engaged in some tasks. In this case, it was very important for you personally to do well at the task. As things turn out, your close associate outperformed you. Try to recall the situation as vividly as possible. Try to describe what you were thinking and how you were feeling at the time.
Response to self-threats and beliefs about self-affirmation
The results showed, “people recognized that self-affirmation is more helpful for self-threat than in other negative nonthreat situations.”
Simply put, they distinguished “self-affirmation as a regulatory, specialized response to threats to their self-integrity, not just any negative situation.”
Nevertheless, participants appeared to believe that to deal with self-threats, a variety of techniques are equally effective. Therefore, they did not rate self-affirmation as more effective than other coping strategies such as thinking positively or recounting (i.e., reflecting on and analyzing the stressor).
The data also showed that after the upward social comparison task, participants who recognized the benefits of self-affirmation were more likely to self-affirm than to use a different coping technique.
Takeaway and a self-affirmation exercise
Self-affirmation—affirming one’s values—is an effective solution for dealing with self-threats.
The research reviewed found that people who recognize the benefits of self-affirmation are more likely to use it to cope with self-threats.
To see the benefits of self-affirmation for yourself, you may want to try it sometime. So let me end with a values-affirmation exercise you can do the next time you experience threats to your sense of self-worth.
First, create a list of values. Here is one such list—of what each of six different personality types tend to value the most—taken from the Allport-Vernon Study of Values:
- Economics (usefulness, practicality)
- Art, music, theater (form, harmony)
- Relationships and social life (love, altruism)
- Politics (power, influence, leadership)
- Religion (unity, morality, life’s meaning)
- Science (intellect, search for truth)
Put the list aside until you experience a threat to your self-esteem and self-worth. Then, refer back to these values, and circle the ones that seem to matter the most. Next, write a couple of paragraphs on the importance of your top value. Give two or three reasons why the particular value (e.g., love, search for truth, empowerment) is most important to you. Provide an illustrative example.
Check to see if this short exercise can make you feel better and more at peace with who you are.