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At first consideration, one might think that these two regions of the body—the face and the genitals—are completely different, but upon a closer examination there are some interesting similarities and parallels.
Both regions are highly sensory and capable of producing great pleasure; and conversely, they’re also vulnerable to excruciating pain The right kinds of touching to both can result in highly pleasant experiences, and both areas are typically treated as high maintenance. Washing the face, keeping the nostrils clear, and brushing the teeth are at least daily activities for most people, as is keeping the genitals clean. Good grooming is also important for most people; this can be simply to make either the face or genitals more appealing to one’s partner, or simply functional reasons of helping to keep areas clean and tidy.
When dating somebody, it is a safe assumption that both parties involved have to be comfortable with the appearance of their partner’s face. This goes beyond simple aesthetics such as eye color, hair color and length, and bone structure, as our partner’s appearance when they express a whole range of emotion (at least, ones they’re capable of expressing), is also what makes them endearing (or repugnant) to us.
The same is true when a point in the relationship is reached for the exposure of the second face; the appearance of the genitals has an impact on the burgeoning/declining desire for intimacy. At least for relationship periods of heightened sexual activity, such as the beginning of a relationship, people have to be happy with their partner’s genitals, as after all, it’s not just the part that brings them sexual pleasure, but also the part that will (with any luck) be bringing you sexual pleasure. And just as we sometimes like to make out partner’s smile, so we can see that cute toothy grin of theirs, we also want to learn how to make our partner’s second face smile.
Activities combining the two faces are also clearly no accident.
Humans are an odd species because the role and involvement of kissing appears unique to us. The interlocking of lips and use of the tongue can be a heightened and euphoric experience (if done correctly), just as kissing the second face can be. There is much pleasure to be gained from both givers and receivers during oral sex; it is not necessarily a one-way activity. There is a lot of satisfaction to be gained from the person using their lips, mouth, and tongue on their partner’s second face, and this is often enhanced by the sounds, movements, and even smells of their partner, in a not dissimilar way to ordinary kissing.
The face-to-“face” in oral sex is also similar to the feeling of a confrontation with ordinary face-to-face; this person is right in your personal space, and is hopefully welcomed there, with the goal of shared intimacy. Being face-to-face with our partner’s genitals is not a passive experience, indeed with anyone’s genitals.
A point to note about oral sex, too, is that the gustatory (taste) and olfactory (smell) sensations, can create a euphoria for the giver, and so they are receiving sexual gratification through their face (the face is your second genitals).
Western culture typically promotes the exposure of our face, but strongly encourages the public concealment of our second face. The exposure our second face to whomever we choose to do so in private (hopefully not public), remains our privilege, and our desire to see the second faces of others occupies our fantasies.
However, it is not uncommon in other cultures for women to have both faces covered in public, which I believe is indicative of that culture equating the two faces. The exposure of both results in heightened levels of sexual excitement from public observers. Enforcing the covering the face of women, however, denies them a public and communal identity.
Indeed, we face the world with our two faces, keeping one public and one private. This is what allows us to function. It is when we are forced to abandon this rule that our rights and lives are jeopardized, and we become political.
The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart. - St. Jerome
© Jack Pemment, 2019
