You Are More Than the Sum of Your (Social) Anxieties

"Shy." At a time, that word meant misunderstanding to me. I like talking to people. I see myself as adventurous and creative. I can also be anxious. At a time, anxiety could silence me. Today, it does so much less often. I can be quiet, but, as a person, I would not call myself shy.

Introversion vs. Social Anxiety

A strong wish for social connection, matched with a barrier of anxiety, is what typically drives individuals living with social phobia to reach out for psychotherapy. In my experience, those struggling with social anxiety usually desperately want to be able to feel comfortable while in social situations. When a person feels unsafe, fear can present itself like an invisible wall between them and the rest of the world. Social anxiety makes it tricky to think of what to say or relate to others. Still, it is critical not to confuse a person's anxieties with their personality.

A study that compared the personality traits of 265 individuals with social anxiety disorder to 164 people without the diagnosis found that social phobia did not characterize a single personality type (Costache et al., 2020). The only two personality traits that consistently predicted social phobia in the study were introversion and neuroticism. Other research has shown that while introversion as a whole can be a healthy personality trait, social phobia, by definition, causes distress and is a reaction to anxiety. While there may be some overlap at times, research also suggests that the psychological characteristics of introversion and social anxiety disorder are different (Spytska, 2023)

The Person Behind Those Anxious Eyes

In acceptance commitment therapy, a psychotherapy that has been utilized to treat social phobia (Craske et al., 2014), among other conditions, there is a concept called self-as-context. As opposed to the roles we play or categories we can fall into, self-as-context defines the sum of a person as the person that they are behind their eyes. In other words, we are the people who observe our lives and interact with the world.

A person is more than the sum of their anxieties.

This is an important distinction because if someone can overcome the impacts of their social anxiety, they can be more of themselves.

Interventions for Social Anxiety

Research has shown a variety of interventions to be effective in the treatment of social anxiety disorder, including acceptance commitment therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and mindfulness-based interventions (Liu et al., 2021).

Each of these therapies takes a slightly different approach to anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) tackles social anxiety through the identification of troublesome thought patterns and challenging these while utilizing strategies such as gradually introducing feared social situations. Role-playing social situations and developing new skills can also be a part of CBT.

Acceptance commitment therapy and mindfulness-based interventions, on the other hand, explore a person's values and how to move toward these while living with anxiety. Interventions in these therapies can include developing strategies to build a person's contact with the present moment so that one can untangle from anxious thoughts and be present.

With support, many struggling with social phobia feel connected again and become free from the grips of anxiety.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.