Eyes Off the Prize

Entering into a committed relationship doesn’t mean you start wearing blinders: You’re bound to encounter as many attractive single people as ever. You might, however, be less impressed by them. A recent paper in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that people in relationships unconsciously downplay the appeal of potentially tempting strangers.

In two studies by Rutgers University psychologist Shana Cole and colleagues, heterosexual participants learned about an opposite-sex individual whom they were supposedly going to meet, viewing a photograph of the person and, among other details, his or her relationship status. Soon after, the subjects were shown the person’s photo again and asked to find its match in an array of 11 different versions of it—10 of which had been altered to make the individual appear either more or less attractive.

When the person in the photo was said to be single or looking to date, participants who were already in relationships tended to pick a less-attractive image of that person—evidence that they perceived him or her less flatteringly. Those happiest in their relationships were the most likely to show this bias.

Similarly, a 2011 study led by Dutch psychologist Johan C. Karremans of Radboud University Nijmegen found that compared with singles, partnered people remembered new faces as less attractive. Karremans counts such “perceptual downgrading” as one of several biased responses people in relationships have to attractive individuals—along with inattentiveness, thought suppression, and avoidance.

What might drive the minimizing of alluring looks? It may be the cognitive dissonance generated by meeting attractive romantic alternatives while in a relationship. “To lessen that tension, what do you do?” Karremans asks. “You can step out of your relationship—or reduce the attractiveness of others.”

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