Re-defining Normal: Make Sure It's Your Choice

As someone who writes frequently about both body image and health, I often run up against the question of self-improvement versus self-acceptance. Generally, my attitude is that if changing something about yourself will improve your health, go for it. For example, if you're overweight and your doctor tells you that losing 20 pounds will lower your blood pressure enough that you'll no longer have to take medication, I think losing weight is a worthy goal. But torturing yourself to lose five pounds just so you can say you're a particular number on the scale?

Not so much.

But there are also self-improvement measures that reach beyond pure health considerations into the realm of self-confidence and body image. I consider the braces I'm now wearing to fall into that category. Yes, the easier time I'll have flossing and caring for my teeth once they're no longer crowded will mean improved oral health, but my newly-straightened teeth will also mean a loss of the self-consciousness I've felt for years when I talk and smile.

Wearing these braces and experiencing the discomfort they've brought to my life has made me question the lengths to which we'll go to "improve" our appearance. Think about it, ladies -- plucking, waxing, exfoliating, hair coloring. At best, they're simply messy and uncomfortable. At worst, they're downright painful.

For many of us, these things are "normal" and part of what it means to be a woman in the particular culture and time in which we live. We're free to reject these "improvement measures" if we wish. But as more and more women around us do (or don't do) certain things, the pressure -- however subtle -- mounts. A woman I know asked me recently when I was going to get a tattoo. Though I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with women getting tattoos if they choose, I'll admit I was surprised by any sense of expectation that I should be getting one, too.

I'll confess that all of this musing about normalcy and expectation and cultural pressure was spurred by a piece I read in the June 2011 issue of The Atlantic. Author Marie Myung-Ok Lee wrote a short, but largely disturbing piece about the rise of cosmetic gynecology -- mentioning a "procedure in which the labia minora are completely amputated to create a ‘smooth' genital look known in the field as ‘the Barbie.'"

How many of you just crossed your legs and shuddered? I know I did when I read that piece.

I'll put my (admitted) feminist body image rage aside for the moment and simply say that I'm disturbed by the thought of what could become a new "normal" for young women of my daughter's generation. And as I look to humanitarian efforts to protect the more than 2 million girls worldwide who undergo ritual female genital cutting, I can only ask one question -- why?

There will always be pressure from forces outside of us to tell us that we're not pretty enough, thin enough, curvy enough, [fill in the blank] enough. Each of us has the power to define for ourselves what makes us "enough." Whatever you choose to do for or with your body, make sure that the choice is yours.