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Facebook Friends and Attraction
People of all ages are turning more and more to the Internet to seek personal relationships. Researchers are studying the effects of Facebook usage and the development of personal relationships and have come up with some interesting findings. Since Facebook research is in its infancy, the findings may change as more data is collected.
Similarity plays a critical role in the development of relationships on Facebook.[1] Facebook users gravitate to other Facebook users who share the same attitudes and beliefs. Likewise, Facebook users are seen as more attractive if their Facebook friends are seen as attractive, which is consistent with the principle of association and attraction. Facebook users are seen as increasingly more attractive as they approach 300 friends; however, when the number of friends exceeds 300, the effect on social attractiveness tends to diminish[2]
People who spend excessive time on Facebook are often seen as more introverted and are perceived as having lower self-esteem.[3] Introverts disclose more information on social networks than they do in face-to-face encounters. The Facebook format allows introverts sufficient time to formulate meaningful responses. Without the pressure of a face-to-face encounter, introverts naturally disclose more information than they would during personal conversations. Introverts also experience difficulty initiating conversations, especially with strangers. Social networks eliminate this added social pressure. People with low self-esteem also find Facebook as a favorable environment because they want to be accepted and liked by others. Social networks allow them to express themselves without direct exposure to negative feedback.
People who use Facebook excessively are often perceived as being narcissistic.[4] Two researchers, Forest and Wood, disagree. They suggest “that the use of social networks by college students is not evidence of narcissism. It appears that the posting of photos of oneself and updating of one’s status on Facebook is more a reflection of young adults’ orientation to openness with regard to their daily lives.” However, they did find that the usage of Twitter does appear to be somewhat narcissistically driven.
Based on the limited research about relationship building on social networks, it appears that the same psychological principles of attraction that are effective in face-to-face relationships hold true in on-line relationships. In fact, social networks provide an effective alternate method of communication for people who are not comfortable with initiating face-to-face relationships.
Social networks can be hazardous. No communication posted to the Internet is private. You must assume that your posts are permanent and public. Like in face-to-face communications, pretending to be someone you are not often leads to a disastrous outcome. The same thinking applies to online dating.
For more information on how to build, maintain, and repair relationships, refer to The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over.
[1] Craig, E. & Wright, K. B. (2012). Computer-mediated relational development and maintenance on Facebook. Communication Research Reports, 29, 2, 118-129.
[2] Tong, S. T., Van Der Heide, B., Langwek, L. & Walther, J. B. (2008). Too much of a good thing? The relationship between number of friends and interpersonal impressions on Facebook. Journal of Computer-Mediated Communications, 12, 531-549.
[3] Forest, A. L. & Wood J. V. (2012). When social networking is not working: Individuals with low self-esteem recognize but do not reap the benefits of self-disclosure on Facebook. Psychological Science 23: 295-302.
[4] Buffardi, L. & Campbell, W. K. (2008). Narcissism and social networking web sites. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 34, 1303-1314.
[5] See supra note 3
