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Entertainment news and psychology don’t often intersect but a recent social media feud between a small group of female music superstars is fraught with complex issues about gender and power that are worth discussing. The stars in question are Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj and Katy Perry, a rarefied group of women who have achieved extreme success in an industry, as I’ve said before, that tends to eat its own.
The public feud between these famous women is upsetting on many levels, including the act of bullying and the misappropriation of a key feminist argument. We’ll get to those points in a moment but first let me address the alleged origin of the feud. In an interview published in the September 25, 2014 issue of Rolling Stone magazine, Swift explained that she was seriously betrayed by a female singer who stole backup dancers from her tour to take them for her own. Apparently these two women had at least the semblance of a friendship, but everything changed for Swift with the theft of her dancers to whom she had reportedly become emotionally attached. Swift explained in the Rolling Stone interview that she wrote her song “Bad Blood” about the woman-on-woman betrayal. Because the transition of some dancers from Swift's tour to Perry's tour was common knowledge to music industry insiders, it wasn't hard for the press to figure out to whom Swift was referring when she bad-mouthed "the singer." Not surprisingly, the saga did not stop there. Perry did not comment publicly on the song until recently when she set off her own customary "fireworks" (pun intended).
After the MTV Video Music Awards nominations were recently announced on July 21, the frequently controversial pop singer/wrapper Nicki Minaj sent a tweet lamenting that women of color don’t receive the industry acceptance and endorsement that white women do, an argument which has legitimacy because race most certainly still matters. Minaj went on, however, to send an additional tweet: “If your video celebrates women with very slim bodies, you will be nominated for vid of the year,” a statement that could be interpreted as a reference to Swift’s own extremely slender frame or her use of Victoria’s Secret models in her video that was nominated for Video of the Year. I’ll sum up the fallout quickly so that we can get to the issues that relate to women overall and the twisted and confusing way they sometimes treat each other.
In response to Minaj’s tweet, Swift sent the following message, again, choosing the most public method of communication possible: Twitter. Swift wrote, “I’ve done nothing but love & support you. It’s unlike you to pit women against each other. Maybe one of the men took your slot.” Minaj’s response: “Huh? You must not be reading my tweets. Didn’t say a word about u. I love you just as much. But u should speak on this.” Stage right, enter Katy Perry into the verbal slug-fest with her tweet, and supposed response to being the public target of Swift’s “Bad Blood” video: “Finding it ironic to parade the pit women against other women argument about as one unmeasurably capitalizes on the take down of a woman…” (Enough commenters in social media have addressed the poor use of grammar and language in Perry's tweet, so I'll leave that alone.)
The social media universe has had a field day with the airing of this celebrity dirty laundry, and this high-profile spat hits home for many because everyday females deal with the same girl-on-girl nastiness: little girls excluding each other on the playground; teens making nasty remarks about other females' weight or appearance in high school; college girls getting snarky; and adults in the workplace speaking badly about each other or acting in ways to undermine each other’s success. Psychologically, these behaviors – as well as the behaviors of Minaj, Swift and Perry – are all examples of what’s called “relational aggression” (Crick and Grotpeter, 1996). Relational aggression, also known as covert aggression, is a type of aggression in which harm is caused by damaging someone's relationships or social status, and it’s different from the type of aggression (physical) that males show each other. Relational aggression tends to be subtle and manipulative. Everyone's favorite kind, right?
Watching privileged celebrities complain about their lives is challenging, especially when the celebrities have climbed to the astonishing heights of success of Minaj, Perry and Swift. Minaj’s issue about racism is valid, but announcing her complaint on the heels of the award nominations comes across as if she’s simply a sore loser. Rather than focus her tweets on the countless talented artists of color who have not yet made it because of negative, systemic racist influences, she seems to focus on herself. Yes, she tweets about how she is looking out for "other girls" but that may serve as a cover to focus on her own frustration that she didn’t get nominated for Video of the Year. If race were so important to her, couldn’t she have used her celebrity platform to send tweets about the endless police abuses of men and women of color or to focus on any other number of flagrant racial disparities? Ms. Minaj, instead of sending off narrowly focused tweets, consider taking the time to write an article about race and women in the music industry, and do your best to relate it to the plight of women of color in America and across the world.
Which brings us to Swift and Perry. Swift’s use of relational aggression was intended to right a wrong she felt Perry had done to her by tarnishing her reputation (and social status) worldwide. Given that Swift called out Minaj on her unfeminist ways, how could Swift not see that it isn’t very feminist – or supportive of women – to put down another woman in such a public way? Swift would probably defend herself by saying that she never named the artist she criticized, but she clearly gave enough examples to make it known. Perhaps Swift would defend herself by saying that she never starts any of these attacks with women, but the reality is that she is just as guilty for attacking right back - and doing it so publicly! Going to the extremes of gathering your girlfriends - including the feminist Lena Dunham - to make cameos in your video that calls out another woman is extreme. Isn't this women ganging up on other women? Ultimately, Swift's behavior is passive-aggressive and seriously lacks insight.
The point of feminism is for women to support and encourage each other. Ms. Swift, even if Perry betrayed you and did something to undermine the success of another woman, the feminist way to handle it would be to talk one-on-one with her and to explain how you felt betrayed. But engaging in such nuanced and public put-downs makes Swift yet another participant in the women-pitted-against-other-women circus for which she condemned Minaj!
Many singers - male or female - don’t have more than a high school education because they're working on their music from a young age. It's fine, too, to not have additional education because you don’t need a formal degree to be educated. But let's agree that getting educated about social issues is a good thing. I don’t know how many books on race, class and gender these women have read, but Nicki Crick, Bell Hooks and others have written beautifully about the confines of race, gender and class. I would encourage Swift, especially, to read more about feminism and its relationship to race and class so that she understands – and doesn’t misuse feminism’s central tenets only when it’s convenient or suits her purposes.
Katy Perry inserting herself into the public Minaj-Swift feud feels like bullying to me. Despite the fact that Perry has a valid point, Perry joining in on the fighting is more of the same: girl-gang bullying. Perry could have easily called Swift on the phone to address the issues from long ago, or she could have moved on by saying to herself, “I won’t live up to that women-fighting-in-public stereotype.” Instead, Perry waited until Swift felt kicked by another woman to chime in and say, “See, how does it feel now, Taylor?” We never see such passive-aggressive machinations between men in the entertainment industry. In response to the nonsense, Bruno Mars and Ed Sheeran – two popular singers in their own right – made a parody of the bickering by starting their own mock feud. The question is, Will women ever be able to get along and avoid the cattiness? I wrote about why some women hate other women in another article for Psychology Today and determined that snarkiness – the passive-aggressive way of assigning social hierarchies and power – is the root of harm between women.
Feel free to check out my book, Overcome Relationship Repetition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve, or to follow me on Twitter for daily mental health updates.
References
Crick, N.R. & Grotpeter, J.J. (1996). Children's treament by peers: Victims of relational and covert aggression. Development and Psychopathology, 8, 367-380.
