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Alan Robert has always loved to be scared.
“I can remember my first experience being fascinated with the film The Amityville Horror as a young kid. After all, I had cousins who lived in Long Island, NY, so I knew Amityville was a real place, which made the whole thing even more frightening. I must've been only 9 or 10 when the movie hit HBO and it was an "R" rated film, so I begged my parents to let me watch it. They finally said yes and I was so psyched,” Robert recalled. “We had popcorn and I was allowed to stay up late and watch it with them in their bedroom. I'll never forget, when the opening title sequence started and that theme song kicked in with the creepy vocal chants, I was instantly terrified from the get-go.
“I thought to myself, what was I getting myself into?”
Robert ran out of the room in, well, horror. But soon he found that avoiding fear was far more terrifying than facing fear.
“I ran out of the room and got under the covers in my bed, which actually turned out to be much worse, because the walls were so thin in that old Brooklyn house,” he said. “I heard the whole movie through my bedroom wall and my imagination was probably much worse than the actual film. So, I suppose that was the first moment I was hooked on the feeling of fear.
“I've been drawn to the whole world of horror ever since.”
This was the beginning of a lifelong journey for Robert, in which he embraces, rather than escapes, terror. “Some folks cannot even bring themselves to walk through an amusement park fun house. They are scared to death of the unknown – what's lurking behind the next corner,” he explained. “I've slept in a few haunted houses and experienced some supernatural stuff over the years.
“But those things never bother me.”
In fact, watching horror movies helped him face and habituate to fear. “Horror movies don't scare me … It teaches you how to react in some scary circumstances,” Robert said. “You learn about yourself, I think. The more you experience that kind of stuff, the less terrifying it becomes. In a way, it desensitizes you to it.
“October is definitely my favorite month.”
For Robert, the journey turned from being a consumer of horror to being a creator. As the bassist and songwriter for the band Life of Agony, Robert tackled issues such as abuse, addiction and suicide on their 1993 debut studio album River Runs Red, which Rolling Stone magazine recently named one of the best heavy metal albums of all time. Robert is also a visual artist and created the graphic novel Crawl to Me, the comic series Wire Hangers, and the comic series and animation Killogy – all of which addressed horror themes.
Art forms like heavy metal and horror movies often get mischaracterized as encouraging violence. But just as watching horror movies was a form of coping for Robert, so too is creating music and art – albeit in different ways, with music allowing a more cathartic release of emotion.
“Life of Agony lyrics have always been dark, but they were written from an honest place, as a way of self-therapy to cope with depression and anxiety. It was a cathartic process to pen those songs and it helped me release those bottled up feelings when I was growing up. Those lyrics really connected with people and still do over 25 years later,” Robert said. “To know that those songs have helped so many troubled people all over the world is truly inspiring for me … The music experience is very intense, exciting and collaborative, especially when we're performing at concerts in front of thousands of people.”
In contrast, art is more of a contemplative process. “The drawing process on the other hand is just me, isolated in my room for many, many hours, lost in my own thoughts,” he explained. “Sometimes I'll actually draw in complete silence, it helps me concentrate. Once I'm in the zone, it can be incredibly calming and relaxing. I can draw for hours without taking a break and not even realize it. Creating art is a completely different experience than playing live with the band.
“I think having that yin and yang in my life is very healthy.”
More recently, Robert has taken on a new art form – adult coloring books. “With The Beauty of Horror coloring books, I really set out to create the ultimate coloring experience for horror fans. I discovered that there was a big void in the adult coloring book market for this type of edgy, scary content, so I basically created the coloring book that I would want to color as a horror fan.”
Life of Agony shows tend to be very interactive with the audience, with Robert and his band mates often encouraging the crowd to sing along or otherwise get into the show. Similarly, Robert sees the adult coloring book as opportunities for a sort of collaboration. Specifically, Robert provides the outline and concept, but the reader gets to provide the color.
“With the coloring books, I find that it's best to leave negative space for the colorist to embellish. It makes it a lot more fun for them, and produces the best results,” he said. “To really understand the potential of how far the imagery can go, you have to see some of the amazing work colorists from all over the world have posted online – truly fantastic color work that add so much depth and life to the line drawings.”
And now, Robert is presenting The Beauty of Horror 2: Ghouliana’s Creepatorium: Another GOREgeous Coloring Book. The anticipation is high, with Alternative Press calling it “…the twisted coloring book you’ve been waiting for.” Even the trailer is getting attention, with The Nerdist saying, “This delightfully creepy trailer features Ghouliana herself in the (rotting) flesh … with images which will no doubt give you the loveliest nightmares.”
“The Beauty of Horror coloring books feature a mysterious and mischievous little undead girl named Ghouliana who tricks colorists into doing her bidding through misleading poetry,” Robert explained. “Each book in the series has a treasure hunt, where fans search for Ghouliana's hidden spell ingredients inside every intricate drawing. It's a lot of fun for me to hide these things inside the illustrations and Ghouliana has really become the face of the series. I developed her character about halfway through drawing volume one, and once she was born, her backstory expanded with every page. I created family portraits of her extended family, their haunted mansion and even her undead pets.”
And the cycle of life continues – just as Robert discovered horror when he was 9, his daughter at age 9 is influencing his art.
“One of my favorite illustrations from “The Beauty of Horror 2” was actually inspired by my daughter. I had asked her what I should draw next and she said, "Ghouliana eating an ice cream cone that bites back!’” Robert said.
“So there you have it, her 9-year old imagination has come to life!”
Michael A. Friedman, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist with offices in New York City and South Orange, NJ . Contact Dr. Friedman at michaelfriedmanphd.com. Follow Dr. Friedman onTwitter @DrMikeFriedman.
