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Key points
- Happiness may appear to be a feeling that all people long to experience, but this is not true.
- Research shows how the idea of feeling happy can seem scary for people around the world.
- Everyone deserves to decide whether and when they'll face the fear of contentment.
Happiness. Picture what arises as you envision feeling happy. Do you find the corners of your mouth turning upward into a smile as you remember an uplifting, bright moment? Or maybe sadness descends as you’re aware of how distant it seems to be joyful? Or perhaps the thought of happiness stirs up nervousness and you feel yourself retreating from cheerfulness or pleasure? Research shows you’re not alone if any of these experiences fit. But if you thought you were on your own in feeling anxious about being in high spirits, that makes sense; there hasn’t been a ton of scholarship on how happiness can seem more frightening rather than inviting for folks. Yet, there’s evidence that people around the world are reluctant to be happy.
What can make contentment a daunting prospect? As scholars have pointed out, not everyone believes it’s wise to strive toward joyfulness. Instead, people can feel wary of it because they think it might create problems and result in misfortune. The Fear of Happiness Scale contains illustrative examples of this idea, “I believe the more cheerful and happy I am, the more I should expect bad things to occur in my life,” “I prefer not to be too joyful, because joy is usually followed by sadness,” or “Having lots of joy and fun causes bad things to happen.” People can also shy away from happiness because they’re worried they’ll become empty-headed, immoral, apathetic, or unimaginative. And another factor that can lead people to think twice about feeling joyful is the concern they’ll become self-absorbed, ultimately hurting others or themselves in the process.
As scholars have pointed out, not only do people have divergent worries about what will occur if they’re happy, but they also vary in how much joyfulness is potentially a problem. In line with this, some scholars have noted a link between emphatically aiming for cheerfulness and feeling unhappy. However, other researchers have pointed out that the fear of feeling content is tied to symptoms of depression, anxiety, as well as tension, and they've noted the value of addressing the fear of feeling happy in therapy to help people attain the kind of progress they want to make.
Indeed, you may decide to raise this fear in therapy and talk about it. And just in case you’re tempted to discuss it but are hesitating to do so because you’re concerned this will commit you to letting the fear go, remember that you’re ultimately the one in control of the conversation and the process, and you don’t have to try taking a risk and facing happiness unless you decide it’s time.
References
Ford, B. Q., Shallcross, A. J., Mauss, I. B., Floerke, V. A., & Gruber, J. (2014). Desperately seeking happiness: Valuing happiness is associated with symptoms and diagnosis of depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 33(10), 890–905. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.2014.33.10.890
Gilbert, P., McEwan, K., Catarino, F., Baião, R., & Palmeira, L. (2014). Fears of happiness and compassion in relationship with depression, alexithymia, and attachment security in a depressed sample. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 53(2), 228–244. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12037
Gilbert, P., McEwan, K., Gibbons, L., Chotai, S., Duarte, J., & Matos, M. (2012). Fears of compassion and happiness in relation to alexithymia, mindfulness, and self-criticism. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 85(4), 374–390. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.2044-8341.2011.02046.x
Jordan, D. G., Collins, A. C., Dunaway, M. G., Kilgore, J., & Winer, E. S. (2021). Negative affect interference and fear of happiness are independently associated with depressive symptoms. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 77(3), 646–660. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23066
Joshanloo, M. (2013). The influence of fear of happiness beliefs on responses to the satisfaction with life scale. Personality and Individual Differences, 54(5), 647–651. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2012.11.011
Joshanloo, M., & Weijers, D. (2014). Aversion to happiness across cultures: A review of where and why people are averse to happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 15(3), 717–735. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-013-9489-9
Joshanloo, M., Yıldırım, M., Janus, E., Frosch, C. A., Silva, I., & Jólluskin, G. (2024). Measurement invariance of the fear of happiness scale in adults samples from six countries. European Journal of Psychological Assessment : Official Organ of the European Association of Psychological Assessment. https://doi.org/10.1027/1015-5759/a000834
Tekke, M., & Özer, B. (2019). Fear of happiness: religious and psychological implications in Turkey. Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 22(7), 686–693. https://doi.org/10.1080/13674676.2019.1625314
