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Motivation
Let’s Get Back to Basics
Stop trying to fix your problems just because it’s a new year.
Posted January 22, 2020
It’s a new year, which means new resolutions, new attempts to radically change your life in ways that probably have zero chance of succeeding. Have you tried Keto yet? Carb-cycling? Alt-meats? Therapy influencers? DNA travel? Are you wondering what any of these things are and why you should care about them? (Here’s a hint: You absolutely, positively, shouldn’t.)
Each new year brings about a new set of tools, resources, and opportunities to live your best life (whatever that means) with optimum efficiency and effectiveness, and newfound optimism that this year, finally, is going to be the year that you make it all happen. Maybe you've thought:
- "This year I’m finally going to lose weight and get in shape!"
- "This year I’m going to read a book a week and blog about it!"
- "This year I’m going to finally quit this crappy job and do what I love!"
We start each January with so much enthusiasm and promise, joining gyms and printing out reading lists and dreaming of that start-up idea that we know is going to save us from our current monotony. And then what happens? It’s suddenly December again and we’ve gained ten pounds, have barely kept up with email let alone read an actual book, and still slog our way to the job we hate, day after day. We all know how this goes. Next year, I’ll do better. Next year, I’m really going to get it together. Next year. In fact, according to some reports out there, it only takes until February for people to revert to old habits and give up on those "resolutions."
Why do so many of these annual goals fail?
Often it’s about having unrealistic expectations. First, you may have unrealistic expectations of what you can and will achieve. You set a goal that you will read a book a week when you haven’t made it through more than three in the entire previous year. The goal becomes overwhelming and soul-crushing until you just give up on it entirely. Or, second, you may have unrealistic expectations of what achieving this goal is going to do for your life. You imagine that when you lose those twenty pounds you’ll be a happier and better person, but then you realize that dieting and going to the gym makes you super-grouchy. You get discouraged and go back to binging on chocolate and wine.
Of course, New Year’s is not the only time that people set goals. At work, you probably have to set performance goals for what you plan to accomplish. Ideally, these individual goals tie into larger organizational goals and help you to know that you are making progress on the right things in the right ways. Personal goals are no different: it’s a way of determining that you are making progress on the right things in the right ways. So why do close to 80 percent of all New Year’s resolutions fail? Can you imagine what would happen if you failed to meet expectations 80 percent of the time at work?
Perhaps it's because New Year’s resolutions are often created with a deficit mindset, which is a term that comes from education and community engagement work, among others. In asset-based models, we focus on strengths, opportunities, and what is presently working that can be built upon in the future. In deficit-based models, we focus on needs, problems, and what is presently lacking that must be found or acquired. And while there’s certainly nothing wrong with wanting to improve, to learn, and to grow, starting off a new year (not to mention a new decade) thinking about all of the ways that you don’t measure up is, I think, a pretty terrible way to kick things off.
I’d like to propose that we all get back to basics in 2020. Forget the fad diets, the trendy apps, the celebrity guides, and the unrealistic expectations that lead to failure eighty percent of the time. Instead, let’s focus on a few simple things to make this year the best year yet, for you.
Figure out who you are and what motivates you. Start by identifying your why. Why do you get up in the morning, why do you go to work, what are your non-negotiables that drive your behaviors and your choices? In other words, what are your core values? This is a handy tool that can help you to figure these things out, or you can just look up a list of values online and spend some time reflecting on your top five.
What has success looked like for you, in the past? Take an asset-based approach to goal-setting. Instead of focusing on the places where you are lacking, or the problems you might need to fix, focus on the things you already do well. What are your strengths? When you accomplished a goal in the past, what helped you to get there and how might you do more of that in the future? When were you happiest and most satisfied with your life, your work, or your choices?
What do you want to build upon, in 2020? Using the answers you identified above, instead of making a list of all the things you want to fix this year, make a list of all the good things you want to do more of this year. What is currently present in your life, your habits, or your behaviors, that you can build upon in the future? For example, if your intention is to be healthier in 2020, how can you build upon those times you made healthy choices in the past?
Who are your people? None of us live in a vacuum. We all need other people to help us to be successful. Who are your accountability partners and your cheerleaders? Who are the people who will keep you honest? Who are the people who align with your values? How can you engage with them as you do this work this year?
Celebrate success along the way. One of the problems with annual performance reviews is that they only happen once a year. The same thing can be said about New Year’s resolutions. Who says that you have to wait until next January to take stock and set some intentions? Who says that you can’t celebrate the small wins just as much as the big ones or that you can’t celebrate in March just as much as in December? Keep yourself motivated by building in opportunities to check-in with yourself, and to congratulate yourself, all along the journey. After all, this isn’t work, this is your life. At the very least you should give yourself permission to celebrate it.
