What Really Makes Someone Attractive

Source: Image by Duc Duong from Pixabay

You meet people everywhere you go, from social events to the workplace, from the gas station to the grocery store. Yet unmistakably, there are some you remember more than others, and fondly. Memorable people are not necessarily the most attractive, the smartest, or even the most charismatic, but they are often attractive through an interpersonal trait you probably won’t even recognize at the time: expressiveness. Research explains.

The Allure of Expressivity

Amber A. Fultz et al. (2023) examined the link between nonverbal expressivity, physical attractiveness, and liking.[i] The research team studied the manner in which both attractiveness and expressivity impacted liking at first impression, after a five-minute conversation, and after becoming well-acquainted. They found that at first impression, consistent with prior research, attractive targets were liked more. This result was still present after the first conversation. Yet after nine weeks, observer-rated expressiveness was one of the factors that predicted liking in addition to attractiveness. Fultz et al. suggest that nonverbal behavioral qualities must be significant, considering their effects on liking even after learning about other characteristics during the course of a relationship.

Fultz et al. note their findings confirm attraction to beautiful, expressive people, but emphasize the importance of both physical attractiveness as well as nonverbal expressiveness. They note that these two constructs have independent influences on impression formation and are involved in distinct processes of perception. This means that even after getting to know someone’s attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors, including the ways in which someone’s actions impact us—both positively and negatively, the extent to which we like friends and colleagues is still affected by their appearance and style of nonverbal expression.

The Attractiveness of Authenticity

One of the reasons nonverbal expressivity increases likability may have to do with perceived authenticity. Fultz et al. suggested that expressivity positively affects liking, especially in established relationships, because it is perceived as more likely to catch our attention, more intense, and more meaningful. The researchers note these dynamics make expressive people more interesting and engaging, and, therefore, more socially prominent. They also note that the increased salience of expressive individuals generates corresponding trait inferences, making them appear more confident and easily understood, and, therefore, better liked.

Fultz et al. note their findings are consistent with other theories of interpersonal attraction that associate liking with exposure, proximity, and social interaction, indicating that the better we know someone and the more we understand them, the more we like them. The contrary is true as well: less expressive people are difficult to judge accurately and will, accordingly, be less liked.

Behavior Matters Too

Obviously, there is more to relational satisfaction than words and expression. Behavior often provides the best evidence of whether words are true, as captured by the famous reminder that someone must both “talk the talk” and “walk the walk.” Accordingly, Fultz et al. recognize that daily words and behavior should be the most significant factor impacting likability, and that we would not explain romantic dissatisfaction as having a partner that is “unattractive and unexpressive.” Although we love our significant others because of, and sometimes in spite of, their actions and behavior, beauty and expressiveness apparently play a role in determining how much we like friends and colleagues, and perhaps even partners.

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