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Last summer, I visited Nepal, where I volunteered and trekked the Himalayas for six weeks. It was my first time taking a solo trip, and it was also my first self-imposed quintessential life change.
What is a life change? Something profoundly amazing that we expect will change our lives forever.
Life changes are often attributed to major events such as marriage, death, birth and graduation. The idea is that we evolve from one life stage to the next. They are often celebrations with big parties and lots of alcohol, so in case you don't get that natural high, you can at least benefit from a man-made buzz.
But I wanted to experience a different kind of high. I needed to be at the highest point on earth, or you know, in its vicinity -- which is how I ended up on the other side of the world in Nepal, home to Mt. Everest.
Looking back nearly a year later, I still can't believe I survived. I almost died -- probably close to 12 times. Yet, each time I miraculously escaped death and I had to remind myself that this was precisely why I had travelled so far. Not to die, but to live.
I know it sounds crazy, but I think there is so much truth to that statement. Oftentimes, we get stuck in the monotony of our daily routines. Wake-up, eat breakfast, check email and Facebook, go to work, ignore the homeless amputee begging for change, drink coffee, go home, go to gym, go to bar, hook-up with a "5" who looks kind of like your ex, go to sleep, then repeat...forever.
Now, my life is hardly as glamorous as what I've just described above, but I was all too familiar with that sense of listlessness. I needed out. And instead of buying $2,500 worth of hallucinogens to help me out of my state, I opted to visit a place where I might be able to help others.
So with a duffle bag, a Rubik's cube, and a brain full of paralyzing fear, I found my way to Kathmandu where I volunteered at Papa's House, an orphanage founded by Michael Hess, the most incredible person I've ever met.
He has this whole amazing story of how he ended up in Nepal that you can read here, so I'm going to just tell you the highlights. When I first got to the volunteer house, I was told that Michael was always available to us except from 6pm to 9pm everyday. Do you know why?
Michael spends that time (probably more) giving each child one-on-one time to talk about their day. There are more than a hundred kids! I didn't even know this kind of kindness existed in humanity.
Not only does Michael treat the children as if they are his own, he treats the volunteers with the same love and kindness. He greets us each morning for our own one-on-ones and makes us feel like we are special and doing him a huge favor by being there, when it's truly an honor just to be in his presence.
Okay okay. I sound like a mental person right now. But Michael Hess is someone you are privileged 
to meet -- like President Obama or Mike "the Situation."
I stayed at Papa's House and another orphanage for about five weeks, playing with the children, helping them with their homework, taking tons of photos and eating a lot of dal baht, a native Nepali dish consisting of rice and curried vegetables. It's not bad, but hard to stomach after three straight weeks of it.
But onto the important part.
It was my third day in Nepal. I woke up at 5am, which was an hour later than when I usually got up. I ran up to the roof of the three-story volunteer house to watch the city's famous sunrise.
Completely alone and away from anything familiar, I watched the world wake up and light up this city in the clouds.
It was breathtaking.
But you know what was the most remarkable thing?
I wasn't scared.
And I'm scared of everything: bugs, dentists, fingerless gloves, "The Sixth Sense" and even Judge Judy.
It was quite uncanny to feel so fearless, especially in a place, where I could have very easily gotten killed. But none of that registered. All that came to mind was that I was finally in control.
I made the decision to come to spend my summer here. I got on that plane. I came up on this roof.
Before that moment, I had succumbed to this mentality that I was a victim of whatever fate threw at me. This sense of helplessness was what had been plaguing me in LA, feeding my complacency and contributing to my interminable inertia.
And then it hit me. That helplessness was actually FEAR. I think fear is what prevents us from doing anything -- not laziness, not boredom, not lack of funds.
It's because we're chickens. Too chicken to get our life going in the direction we would like it to go.
Don't get me wrong, fear is incredibly difficult to get over. It pervades our insides and begets the most absurd what-if scenarios that we convince ourselves are inevitable. Of course, that plane will crash if I'm on it! No one else will ever love me if we break up. If I don't get a six-figure job now, I will forever work in fast food.
As scary as facing a fear is, I consider the alternative: doing nothing, living the same day over and over again, no challenges, no excitement and no meaning.
That's the thing that really kills me: not having a meaningful life.
I think that having a meaningful life is one of the simplest concepts to understand, yet one of the most difficult to actually pursue. The tons of self-help books prove it -- but why do we need so much help in doing something that should be innate in all of us?
My heart warms whenever I think of Nepal, the kids, my adventure-filled treks during monsoon season (which you should all avoid), friends who I consider family, and of course -- the sunrise that changed my life forever.
If you'd like to read more about my journey to Nepal, please check out this story about my attempt to rescue orphans in Western Nepal.
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