How Women Recover Their Sexuality After Childbirth

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Sexuality following childbirth adds another dimension to the challenges that already face new mothers. In the postpartum stage, women face a range of emotional, physiological, interactional, and relationship obstacles. A decrease in sex drive following childbirth is a normal effect, but one that can be distressing for women and can put a strain on relationships.

There are many reasons for a decrease in a woman’s sex drive after the birth of a child. Physically, there are changes to the body in the postpartum period that may cause discomfort or pain. Vaginal dryness is another factor adding to discomfort. Hormonal changes following childbirth may result in a decrease in libido. Furthermore, there are many emotional elements of having a child that may contribute to a lower sex drive including stress, fatigue, fear of experiencing pain during sex, and anxiety. Even strain brought on by a concern for having a disinterest in sexual activity can play a role in the diminishment of libido.

Despite the challenges, there are several strategies women can employ to regain their sexuality following childbirth. A study conducted in Spain by Delgado-Pérez, et al., (2022) highlighted several strategies women used to adapt to changes and attempt to recover sexuality after the birth of their children. In interviews, discussion groups, and online forums, 36 women discussed their experiences with sexuality in the first six months postpartum.

As noted by the researchers, “The postpartum period is intrinsically a transformation of women, couples, and families (Delgado-Pérez, et al., 2022:12). Due to this, women wishing to resume sexual intimacy recognize the necessity of adopting strategies to reduce or override barriers to sexual satisfaction.

Strategies suggested by postpartum women in the study included:

• Using lubricants to manage vaginal dryness and make sex more comfortable.
• Being active. This can include exercising, going on walks, or getting out and meeting up with friends.
• Apart from going out with friends, some women found it beneficial to attend group meetings with other postpartum women.
• Being in a supportive relationship that includes having secure and healthy communication with a partner. Discuss what works for you and what doesn’t. Talk about what feels good, what is uncomfortable or painful. It’s important to be good to yourself — and your partner.
• While people may prefer spontaneous sexual encounters, some women in the study found it beneficial to plan out a sexual rendezvous to create an environment that is more conducive to their enjoyment of the experience.
• Changing the sexuality to a more intimate experience, including an increased focus on touching and caressing.
• Adopting new sexual positions, while avoiding positions that may cause discomforting or painful experiences. Consider this a period where you can go outside the box and try new things.

Having a baby is a wonderful, albeit life-altering experience. Many aspects of life change in the postpartum world, and this includes one’s sexuality. It’s perfectly normal to have a lower libido following the birth of a child. It is essential for women in the postpartum period to take care of their emotional and physical health. Regaining a healthy sex drive after childbirth can take time and effort. There is no “correct” timeframe to resume sexual relations. The best time to resume sexual activity is purely individual-based and arbitrary. Be sexual when you are ready and not before. Relax; guilt and shame only complicate the process. With patience, support, and a well-organized set of strategies, women, along with their partner, can overcome any challenges and again enjoy a healthy, fulfilling, and satisfying sex life.