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Key points
- Hillary Clinton fell victim to the former president's insult-tic.
- So far, Kamala Harris is proving her ability to stay positive and resist the insult-tic.
- America is ready for a female president who's ready to embrace all of America.
When Hillary Clinton lost the election for United States president in 2016, the mainstream mantra was that America wasn't ready for a female president. That narrative may have been politically convenient, but it ignored concerns about the candidate that were shared by a sizeable slice of America. Nevertheless, it holds some critical and timely lessons for today.
In 2016, while standing at a podium with the words "stronger together" on it, Hillary Clinton, who was at that time performing strongly in the polls, told her audience that half of her opponent's supporters were "deplorables." Presumably she expected such speech to help circle the wagons around her and her candidacy, but instead it might have alienated those who tentatively supported the other candidate but could have been open to voting for her.
Her comment, however, did something more immediately relevant to the current election, too: It exposed what she thought about a sizeable slice of the American population—the population she would be charged with serving, if elected—and, I would argue, it exposed some character flaws in herself: going to the negative rather than the positive and being divisive rather than inclusive.
It's perhaps odd to think of it this way, but explaining away Hillary's presidential loss as America's not being ready for a female president is sexist. It assumes that anyone who didn't cast a vote for Clinton made their decision based on the candidate's sex, which is impossible to know.
Clinton was a candidate many people didn't like for a variety of reasons. She was put in a very difficult position of needing to overcome that general unpopularity while also inspiring undecided voters to give her a chance. Perhaps most important, she was up against an opponent who excels at playing dirty. And she got down in the dirt with him.
Lesson #1: When someone attacks you, you don't have to attack back. This is a very hard-won lesson for anyone, especially for those of us who grew up with narcissists in the family or have the displeasure of dealing with them in our lives now. It's never worth taking the bait; it just doesn't end well. Instead, you're better off avoiding, deflecting, ignoring, and moving on. Other people's negativity doesn't have to rub off on you, and, moreover, you don't need to throw it back at them.
Political opponents are difficult by definition; they're trying to win just as hard as you are, but narcissistic ones are the worst of the worst. Staying positive when your opponent gets negative is extremely difficult and takes a lot of self-disicipline. Hillary Clinton was given the challenge and failed. Kamala Harris is staying on the positive course so far.
Lesson #2: Don't alienate when you can be inclusive. Kamala Harris' campaign has so far been positive through and through. Her focus is on moving forward to a brighter and better future and toward uniting the American people rather than driving the current dividing lines in our society even deeper. Leaders have to lead everyone they're charged with leading, not just the ones they like, so insulting and alienating some won't do the trick. Instead, being welcoming and inclusive is always the more promising approach. Here, I'm reminded of Morrissey's powerful lyrics from The Smiths' song "I Know It's Over", in which he sings, "It's so easy to laugh, it's so easy to hate, it takes guts to be gentle and kind." Indeed, it does.
In stark contrast to elections past, Vice President Harris is not only staying positive but staying above the fray and not being dragged into the dirt. When the former president insults her and others, complains, and expresses grievances, she points out: "that's who he is." But she doesn't fight back because she knows she doesn't have to. Words that keep resurfacing in her campaign's rhetoric include, "together," "unite," and "freedom," all of which inspire positive feelings of being uplifted and carried away into a brighter and better future.
By doing so, she is proving who she is and how she operates—staying positive, moving on, and focusing on the business of getting elected while helping to run the country. When her opponent reminds people who he is with name-calling and divisive rhetoric, Kamala Harris says, "The American people deserve better." It's hard to disagree.
