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I’m not an expert on what’s easy to do. If I were, here is what I would recommend for you:
1) Spend half of your day surfing the internet
2) Order pizza in most nights of the week
3) Let your kids play video games as much as they want so you can do other things
4) Cut off relationships when your feelings get hurt
5) When you get bored in a relationship, move on to something better
This is just a small sampling of what I might recommend if my area of expertise was “What’s Easy to Do.” My success rate would probably be much higher and people wouldn’t roll their eyes when I make recommendations based on emerging research.
Recently I gave a talk on helping people find their purpose and passion. A parent asked me “How can I help my teen find his purpose and passion when he plays video games all day?”
Here’s what I said: You need to limit screen time which includes both video games and TV to two hours a day. I recommend cutting out video games entirely from Monday to Friday because he is already playing games on his phone or his friends' phones. For the TV time he gets, discourage isolation, try to get the TV time in by watching TV shows the whole family wants to watch and make it a family event. Take cell phones and lap top computers away at 9:00 pm on school nights. Screen time disrupts sleep and disrupted sleep wrecks havoc with psychological functioning.
I could see the collective rolling of eyes. If I were an expert on what’s easy to do, here is what I would have said: “Keep doing what you’re doing and hope it turns out that he can get into a school that has a gaming major and become a video game designer.”
In my observation, all change occurs by stepping outside of your comfort zone. There is this place where the rubber hits the road. It’s that moment where you don’t feel like doing something because you are afraid. You might be afraid to ask for a date. You might be afraid to ask for a job. You might be afraid to ask for help. You might be afraid to tell someone how you are really doing.
Stepping outside your comfort zone might also mean doing new things that you just don’t feel like doing. It’s easier to run through the drive through than stay at home and steam broccoli and serve it with a healthy meal. You may not feel like listening to your teenager whine when you take away his cell phone and lap top at 9:00 pm. But if your child is not destined to be a video game designer, than his brain needs sleep and a chance to explore the real world to figure out what his purpose and passion is. Even if your child is destined to become a video game designer, it’s hard to get into a program that offers a gaming major. He or she still needs to get good grades.
It would be much easier if I was an expert in “What’s Easy to Do.” One thing I know for sure is that sometimes reaching your goal means taking small steps every day outside of your comfort zone and doing things that don’t feel familiar. There is another name for that place outside of your comfort zone – It’s called “Exciting.” It’s the place where you experiment with new things and face the unknown. This is where you will find most of the things you want in your life but don’t have right now.
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