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Think of a problem you have not been able to solve, a question that has been bothering you yet remains unanswered.
Sometimes we just can’t move beyond being blocked because we need a different state of consciousness to solve it and that answer often comes when we release our logical thinking that demands quick answers and quick fixes to our problem. Think of your question and instead of straining toward an answer take a deep breath and say to yourself, “I don’t know.”
No doubt the question will keep coming up over and over again throughout your day. And just continue to let yourself say, “I don’t know.” And then again remind yourself that in saying “I don’t know” you’re taking yourself out of problem-solving mind that is desperate and needing to know. That is probably the worst place to try to get a refreshing answer to a perplexing problem.
In my observation you’ll sometimes find that as soon as you really let yourself say, “I don’t know,” a surprising answer will immediately pop into your mind, which is something you could have never thought of.
Remember the importance of every time you say “I don’t know” to just slow down, let yourself slow down, and focus on your breath and look at your emotions after you say “I don’t know” and just see, is there a feeling that comes up. Even if it’s just a little glimpse of a feeling, try to amplify that experience because the desperate search for clarification and answers can be a ruse by your mind to repress or suppress an emotional experience.
Many times the reason you’re trying to suppress it is because it’s not something that you’re very comfortable with. So if you’re not comfortable with being afraid, it might be fear; if you don’t like to be sad, it could be that. The question may not be as important as you think it is. It may just be a strategy to keep your mind turning so you can’t feel what really needs to be felt and dealt with.
Finally you may also want to consider if the answer is just something that’s almost impossible for most of us to hear these days. It may just be that the answer is “no.” You may be trying to make something work that shouldn’t work. Or you may be wanting something to happen and just quite frankly the answer is “no.” If what you want is not in the cards for you, practice trusting that if the answer is no that there’s probably a deeper meaning and reason for it and that it’s redirecting you – not much different than, a 2‑year-old that’s always saying, “Chocolate milk, chocolate milk” and being answered, usually, “no”. You may also let yourself explore what the deeper meaning in the “no” could be, aware that it could be redirecting you to a bigger “yes.”
Dr. Lara Honos-Webb is a worldwide ADD expert and offers ADD coaching. She is a clinical psychologist and author of The Gift of ADHD, The Gift of ADHD Activity Book, The Gift of Adult ADD, The ADHD Workbook for Teens and Listening to Depression: How Understanding Your Pain Can Heal Your Life.
Learn more about her work at www.addisagift.com
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photo by Lara Honos-Webb
