Caregiver Affirmations

You are so capable.

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Studies on the use of affirmations suggest that self-affirmations such as "I am capable" promote a positive view of self and help challenge negative self-perceptions, such as incompetence.

During times of stress, a simple statement can redirect someone's defeatist thoughts and reduce stress to a more positive place of possibility.

While caregiving for several years, my inner voice said more than a few times, "This is impossible, you're not qualified to do this, you shouldn't have to do this."

In response I learned to say, "I take the next best step every morning, and I do so with ease, because I am a competent caregiver."

This shifted my thinking from that of an incapable victim to that of an innately able caregiver. It lent me power when I felt powerless. Even my posture changed, from slouched and weak to straight and proud.

Why are you the caregiver?

Are you wondering why you’re in this position? Why the clinics call you with appointment reminders and why the hospitals call you with updates and why the doctors want updates about your person’s wishes from you?

It's because you're so damn capable.

Sure, there are days you feel put upon, like you never really signed up for this, even if you would have agreed in principle. On those days, you wonder where the others are, you wonder how it’s possible that you are in charge, you wonder why you, why you, why you.

It’s because you’re so capable.

There will be lines to draw in the sand. You are not sentenced to this role. But you are good at it, and that is why you’ve risen to the role. People are in awe of you. They don’t envy you, but they admire and respect you. You make them wonder what they would do in your position.

Look for it in the eyes of nurses and the janitorial staff who clean the hospital rooms where your person stays sometimes. Look for it from your friends and the strangers you confide in. They can see your capability.

So, take a moment to breathe this in. Pick a color, maybe a warm-yellow glow that fills your lungs and body and encircles you as you walk the hallways of the cancer center with your person.

Now breathe out the color of ashy gray, filled with specks of doubt and confusion about how you got here.

You are the glow. And you are shining in the right place.