"Barbie," the Movie: What Can We Learn?

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We might associate Barbie and the colour pink with superficial, light, girlie fun, but the movie couldn’t be further from superficial.

The doll Barbie is the quintessential representation of femininity in its full pride, sexiness, and fashionable taste. Of course, the Barbie stereotype in itself may be problematic. The doll has been criticised, as the movie points out, to encourage unrealistic expectations of the female body, but, on the other hand, it enhances how powerful femininity can be.

In the movie, Barbieland is where all kinds of Barbies have positions of power: doctors, lawyers, the president, and so on. The main character is the “stereotypical” Barbie: the tall, thin, and blond one. Ken, however, is “just Ken,” meaning he is part of the furniture, interchangeable with all the other Kens, and not able to exist without the gaze of Barbie. Indeed, the movie cleverly spins the “real world” on its head: the male gaze being positioned as the validation of women’s existence is one of the hallmarks of patriarchy in our society, and the everyday lived experience of many women.

When Barbie and Ken arrive in the “real world,” they expected a happy world, but they soon realised they looked out of place based on the clothes they were wearing (too pink and flamboyant).

Belonging

When Ken discovered patriarchy in the “real world,” it resonated with him instantly because he could see himself in those men, and he felt that he suddenly belonged. An important part of our sense of well-being as humans is to feel we belong.

But, of course, one of the messages of this movie is that most women in the real world struggle to belong anywhere, as poignantly expressed by Gloria’s monologue (played brilliantly by America Ferrera) later in the movie: No matter what women decide to do, it is somehow never quite right or good enough. It’s impossible for a woman to just be.

Patriarchy, Toxic Masculinity, and Femmephobia

Patriarchy was easy for Ken to take on, and he subsequently changed Barbieland to Kendom, where the Kens had the power and the Barbies served them. This scene highlighted two important things: how patriarchy is flimsy, based on nothing but feeling fragile about their sense of masculinity, and how toxic masculinity can be quickly contagious in an attempt to feel powerful (or reacting against powerlessness) and how it harms women as well as men.

The term “toxic masculinity” is often misunderstood as a statement against men. Challenging toxic masculinity is not saying “all men are toxic.” In my article on toxic masculinity, I discuss that the term describes a mindset that men (and some women) can adopt that is detrimental to the well-being of women and men. This mindset is based on unhelpful societal narratives that aren’t “truths,” only beliefs. The other part to it is what is termed “femmephobia”: the systemic devaluation and regulation of femininity across bodies, identities, and various social locations (Hoskin & Serafini, 2023). Much of the negative reviews of "Barbie" may come from an offence to see men influenced by women and/or “femininised.” These strong feelings of offence may come from unexplored and subconscious femmephobia for some, and very conscious femmephobia for others.

All that we think we “know” about men and women aren’t “truths”; they are simply beliefs. Most of what our society is based on in terms of gender roles, rules, and responsibilities is arbitrary. Some of those narratives date back to early Christianity, colonisation, and capitalism (for example, blue for boys and pink for girls was a marketing strategy to sell more baby clothes). This was highlighted in the scene between Barbie and Ruth, her creator, toward the end of the movie. Ruth says that it is complicated to be human because our emotions can be uncomfortable, and we make things up such as patriarchy and Barbie dolls to feel better about our human discomfort. This scene elevated the movie to an existential meaning about who we are and what we do.

Barbie helps us re-think those societal narratives and makes us conscious that those rules are only beliefs. We can do for ourselves much of what Barbies had to do to save Barbieland from Kendom: de-programming our intrinsic patriarchal beliefs.

The existential messages of the movie don’t stop at the women challenging patriarchy. It also addresses how patriarchy is harmful for men, too, disabling them from getting to know themselves. It was important for Ken to be heard and not be taken for granted by Barbie. Ken needed to find his own place without trumping on Barbie’s, nor living a life based on patriarchy and imposed roles (“Kenough”). The scene in which Ken gets in touch with his emotions, allows himself to cry, and makes a commitment to get to know himself is a wonderful representation of what relationship psychotherapists call “differentiation.”

Above all, what we can all learn from the multiple messages of "Barbie," the movie, is how we can live side by side, respectfully, with our differences. Some people’s differences may be uncomfortable for some of us to be with, but it is important to sit with our discomfort (it is human) and still allow everybody the equal space to exist as they wish.