How to Help Children Cope with Anxiety

Imagine you are on an airplane and suddenly the sea belt light goes on. The pilot’s voice tells you to prepare for turbulence ahead. In one moment, your heart starts pumping faster, your stomach drops, and you’re breathing rapidly. These are the physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety.

Children as well as adults experience anxiety and stress all day long. If untreated, anxiety and stress can lead to long-term debilitating emotional and physical problems. Even the loss of sleep can stress your child and make them anxious.

Strategies to help your child cope with and manage anxiety

• Adopt a nightly ritual. Sleep disturbances affect physical coordination and the ability to control emotions, leading to irritability, sadness, anxiety, lack of impulse control, inability to concentrate, and compromised decision-making. Poor sleep habits by themselves can stress the system and create anxiety. Develop a nightly ritual in which your child has time and space to discuss the problems of their day. Include a little back rub, cuddle, and/or prayer. This gives your child a sense of control and the feeling that they don’t have to deal with their problems alone at night—and, if they wish, it is within their power to pick up those problems again in the morning.
• Monitor your child’s media use. Watch the news with your children, and provide explanations when necessary. Seeing what they are watching enables you to diffuse whatever tension your child is experiencing as they arise. Young children think concretely:, When they see violent news, for example, they may fear that they and their families may be personally affected.
• Help your child confront their fears. Create a dialog with your child and discuss the things that are bothering them; your child can gain a sense of control by investing in solutions that emerge from the conversation. This will teach your child how sharing their problems can lower anxiety and that family supports them. Further, you can help your child practice and rehearse through role-playing how to relax under stressful and anxiety-producing situations. By being reliable and consistent, you are teaching your child that you can be trusted.
• Teach your child relaxation techniques like calm breathing, meditation, and creative visualization. Doing so can not only guide your child to manage stress and anxiety but also provide and opportunity to bond with you.
• Don’t overschedule your child. Your children need downtime to decompress. When your children are asked to meet schedules packed with activity, they may start to display the same anxiety problems and illnesses their parents do, including headaches, stomachaches, ulcers, sleep disorders, anxiety attacks, nail-biting, as well as bed-wetting and other regressive behaviors. Since your children don’t have the same coping skills as you, they experience free-floating anxiety with little relief. We often press our children to perform because we believe their success reflects our parenting skills., which only puts a terrible burden on children.
• Carve time out for creative play. Creative play can take the edge off concerns and build positive experiences for your child. Your child gets a chance to return to their inner core, restore confidence, and face problems healthily and constructively. Your child needs to play, have fun, and have time to be.
• Incorporate exercise into your child’s routine. Exercise stimulates endorphins and takes your child’s mind off their problems. Impossible problems may then be approachable with optimism and success, reinforcing their coping skills.
• Be what you want to see! Your child is a social learner and follows your behavioral model. If you remain calm when something upsetting happens to your child, he or she will gain the capacity to handle the psychological or physical assault. You must pay attention to your psychological health and well-being to influence your child to respond to anxious and traumatic situations calmly and healthily.
• Never discount your child’s feelings. When your child is frightened, upset, or bullied at school, it is important to be empathetic and compassionate. Don’t make your child defend their experiences; instead, advocate for your child, and be their trusted home team. If you validate your child’s feelings, you communicate that they are valued and seen.
• Help redirect your child’s focus to the positive. When your child is anxious, guide them to see the positive aspects of the situation.
• Actively listen to your child’s problems. The first step in active listening is to help your child acknowledge the source of anxiety. Then you can lead your child toward a solution in which they participate. This builds security, confidence, and competence.
• Spend time with your child. One of the best anxiety-reducing techniques is simply spending time together as a family.

However, if your child’s anxiety and yours can no longer be addressed healthily, seek counseling before the problem becomes habitual and turns into a lifelong struggle. Teaching your child how to cope with anxiety will make a healthier child and, therefore, a healthier and happier you.