Using the RAP Strategy to Think Positively

Source: Photo By Hannah Olinger on Unsplash

Our brain is extremely powerful. The way we think influences all areas of our life. How we think about an event, situation, or interaction impacts how we feel and what we do.

Aaron Beck, the founder of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), celebrated his 100th birthday on July 18, 2021. He spent much of his life helping people think in a more healthy, adaptive way. Cognitive errors (also known as cognitive distortions and thinking errors) are self-defeating ways of thinking.

David Burns identifies and describes ten common cognitive errors in his book The Feeling Good Handbook. We will focus on the two that are mind-reading and fortune-telling, both associated with jumping to conclusions. Jumping to conclusions is when you make a negative interpretation when no definite facts realistically support your decision. Specifically, mind-reading occurs when you believe that someone is reacting negatively to you and do not bother to check this out. Fortune-telling happens when you anticipate that something will turn out negatively and are completely convinced that it is accurate and factual. I will review these two cognitive errors, along with a cognitive behavior therapy intervention that I hope everyone finds helpful.

Has there ever been a time when you met someone and just felt that they didn’t like you? Maybe it was a short interaction where you expected it to be longer, a facial grimace, or you were reading their body language and felt something was off. You walk away thinking, well, they don’t like me, without any facts or real reasons about their feelings. This could impact how you feel (sad, angry) and behave (negative interactions with them next time you meet, avoidance).

There could be numerous reasons why it was a short interaction. Maybe they did not feel well or have stressors on their minds that have nothing to do with you. Maybe everything went well, but your perception was inaccurate.

Think about when you sent someone a text message, and they didn’t respond to you that day. Potential thoughts might be, he hates me or did something happen to her, is she dead. These are two intense reactions, but think about how this impacts someone’s feelings and behaviors. Your feelings of anger, sadness, and stress can lead to future negative interactions, repeated text messages, and calls to the person, or other maladaptive behaviors.

Fortune-telling refers to believing you can predict the future. Let me look into my crystal ball! All humans make cognitive errors, but they seem to be made more frequently when struggling with depression, anxiety, addiction, and other mental health concerns. Fortune telling is a cognitive error when you just know how things will turn out. I just know I will not find anyone, I know treatment will not work for me, I know if I find another job, I will not be successful, and If I go back to school, I will be too overwhelmed and fail. These are just some fortune-telling statements that can be made.

When engaged in negative thinking related to fortune-telling and not re-evaluating these thoughts, they often, un-checked, come true. When this happens, you say to yourself or others, “See, I told you it wouldn’t work out.” What you will often see is that these thoughts will lead to avoidance and feeling stuck. Mind-reading and fortune-telling often lead to other cognitive errors such as labeling (I am a failure), discounting the positives (that doesn’t count, that happened so long ago), and all or nothing thinking (I will always mess up).

Let’s throw the crystal ball away! One strategy I like to use is to have my clients ‘RAP’ about it. RAP stands for realistic, adaptive, and positive. This means that you identify your negative thought, see a cognitive error associated with it (negative thoughts are not always associated with a cognitive error), and then RAP about it.

The RAP is a cognitive restructuring technique to help focus on a healthier way of thinking. I love the RAP technique because there will be times when you may struggle to find a positive way of viewing a thought, and that is ok–you can work towards identifying a more adaptive and realistic way of thinking. This will help reduce the intensity of the negative thought and perceive the thought in a more adaptive, realistic way, positively influencing the way you feel and what you do.

I encourage my clients and loved ones to practice using the RAP with negative thoughts they have. With practice, you can be in the moment and identify your negative thoughts, potential cognitive errors and use the RAP. Here are two examples of using the RAP. The first is regarding sending a text message to a friend and not hearing back from them. The second is an individual who will be entering rehab for drugs and alcohol.

Mind Reading Essential Reads

How Mind Reading Suffers in Borderline Personality Disorder

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Examples of the RAP

Sending a Friend a Text Message

Situation–I sent a friend a text message 6 hours ago and haven’t received a text back yet.

Negative Thought–My friend is mad at me for something

Cognitive Error–Mind Reading

Realistic–My friend probably didn’t get the message yet; the phone could have died, or she is so busy and will text me later.

Adaptive–I don’t have to have my friend text me right back. There is no time limit for when to respond. She will reply when she can. This has happened before to me, and I worried for no reason. I am also not allowing my thoughts to get out of hand, thinking she is mad at me, and I am pausing and doing my RAP.

Positive–We are good friends, and we communicate when something is bothering us.

Attending Rehab

Situation–Leaving for rehab for drugs and alcohol

Negative Thought–I know I will not be successful. I have done this multiple times and always failed.

Cognitive Error–Fortune Telling

Realistic–I can’t predict the future. I don’t know what will happen this time in rehab. If I change my attitude and thinking about going to rehab, I will have a better chance to take it one day while I am there and make it through. I know rehab will be tough. I know recovery is going to be tough. I need to use my resources and supports and take it one day at a time (ODAAT).

Adaptive–I have been honest with my friends and family. I feel more than ever before that I can work on my substance use disorder and my past trauma. I can learn from my past mistakes and relapses. I am pausing right now, re-evaluating my negative thought, and finding a healthier way of thinking. That is progress!

Positive–I have been through so much in my life. I have many people in my life who love and support me! I do believe I am a strong, resilient, and empowered person.

As you can see, jumping to conclusions can negatively impact how we feel and what we do. Aaron Beck said that “it’s not the situations in our lives that cause distress, but rather our interpretations of those situations.”

The RAP can be added to your mental health toolbox to remove your mind-reading ability and throw away the crystal ball and think about situations in a more realistic, adaptive, and positive way.