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Relationships
3 Reasons Why Having Good Friends Uplifts Your Romantic Life
1. They fulfill needs that a partner cannot.
Posted May 20, 2023 Reviewed by Vanessa Lancaster
Key points
- Good friendships play a pivotal role in our well-being and our love life.
- Social relationships outside of romantic ones, like quality friendships, contribute to life satisfaction.
- Friends can keep us accountable and prevent us from losing ourselves in a romantic relationship.
The novelty of a fresh romance can be exhilarating and make us want to spend all of our time with a new partner. Spending all of your time together and doing things you wouldn’t normally do can feel effortless and exciting during the honeymoon phase.
However, when the initial high levels out, we realize that to survive, we need more than just our partner. We need our friends, whom we often relegate to live in the shadow of our primary relationship. Good friendships play a pivotal role not just in our well-being but also in our love life.
If you find yourself wondering about the last time you spent time away from your partner, here are three reminders why you should restart now.
1. They fulfill needs that a partner cannot.
We are inclined to choose a partner who can shape our lives and be by our side through thick and thin. But the idea of being "someone’s everything" — i.e., sharing every interest, like, and dislike–is an outdated, overly romanticized, and unhealthy notion.
Since it is emotionally and physically impossible for a human to be able to satisfy their partner’s every need, it is unfair to expect it in the first place. In fact, experts might even suggest that this expectation indicates an anxiously-attached individual that struggles with setting boundaries and therefore expects their world of their partner.
Research explains that social relationships outside of a romantic one, like quality friendships, contribute to higher life satisfaction. Spending time talking about serious or frivolous matters, sharing meals, and even exploring entertainment avenues have been shown to reduce stress levels and increase well-being.
Most importantly, a strong social network reduces the overwhelming burden of being another person’s whole life and gives them the space, time, and autonomy they need.
2. They can help salvage your relationship.
Where there is love, there is hurt. Having conflicts in a relationship is natural, but resolving them can be a challenge, especially when emotions run high. This isn’t always possible without the support of others.
Arguments can get ugly and out of hand, sometimes to the extent that the only sign you see is the exit. To open more doors, one needs a fresh pair of eyes and perspective that only people close to you can provide.
A study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science states that during rifts between couples where the relationship’s foundation is threatened, individuals seek out friends (new or old) and family to feel more secure and connected.
The authors of the study, led by Elizabeth Keneski, state, “These close others serve as important sources of relationship support, providing a shoulder to cry on during times of relationship strain as well as serving as a sounding board to process relationship events.”
A close friend’s company can help you stay calm in the eye of the storm and approach the situation with a more collected state of mind, increasing the chances of reconciliation.
3. They save you from yourself.
Prior to spending time with your significant other, there was a different order of life that you probably followed, one in which you might have had more time for hobbies, passions, and perhaps trips and outings with friends.
It’s important to remember that your partner fell in love with who you were before they were a big part of your life, too. Maintaining those pre-existing relationships and hobbies is essential to keeping that identity intact.
Most importantly, research in Health Economics shows that frequent interactions with friends positively impact our health and help cut down on physically taxing habits like smoking, potentially extending our lifespan.
Friends help keep us accountable and prevent us from losing ourselves in the relationship bubble, allowing us to maintain our individuality. This benefits us as individuals and can enhance the relationship itself as it allows both partners to maintain a sense of independence and self-fulfillment.
Conclusion
It’s okay for a romantic partner to take precedence in your life. However, we must do it without undermining the value of friendships and other relationships. Each connection has its own value and role in providing love, safety, and comfort. Remember to cherish your friendships alongside your romantic relationship and strive for a well-rounded life.
