Shame

Narcissism

5 Types of Extreme Narcissists (and How to Deal With Them)

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on September 22, 2015

Five of the most serious types of narcissists, and how to cope with them.

Five of the most serious types of narcissists, and how to cope with them.

Narcissism

Political Discourse in the Age of Narcissism

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on August 31, 2015

In this Age of Narcissism, political discourse increasingly rejects rational thought and respectful argument, relying instead on typical defenses against narcissistic injury -- indignation, blame, and contempt -- to turn the opponent into a "loser."

In this Age of Narcissism, political discourse increasingly rejects rational thought and respectful argument, relying instead on typical defenses against narcissistic injury -- indignation, blame, and contempt -- to turn the opponent into a "loser."

Narcissism

The Populist Appeal of Trump's Narcissism

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on August 14, 2015

To identify yourself as a Trump supporter -- that is, to identify with the man himself on some level -- helps you to feel like a "winner" when you may unconsciously fear that you're a "loser" in this complex and daunting world.

To identify yourself as a Trump supporter -- that is, to identify with the man himself on some level -- helps you to feel like a "winner" when you may unconsciously fear that you're a "loser" in this complex and daunting world.

Embarrassment

How We Use Shame (and Why We Should)

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on May 20, 2015

In different ways, the religious right and the liberal left both make use of shame to enforce their values.

In different ways, the religious right and the liberal left both make use of shame to enforce their values.

Gratitude

Grief and Gratitude

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on December 2, 2013

The ability to grieve for the inevitable loss and disappointments that are part of life, without losing sight of its genuine goodness, is a sign of mental health.

The ability to grieve for the inevitable loss and disappointments that are part of life, without losing sight of its genuine goodness, is a sign of mental health.

When is it acceptable to want respect or admiration from other people? Is there such a thing as everyday or healthy narcissism?

Shame involves feeling about ourselves and who we are. Guilt arises from our actions, real or imaginary; it depends upon empathy for other people and the hurt we may have caused.

Embarrassment

When Is It Appropriate to Feel Shame?

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on April 4, 2013

While the current anti-shame zeitgeist encourages the culturally oppressed to rebel against shame, the experience of shame is sometimes appropriate, preserving certain aspects of the human experience from becoming degraded and meaningless.

While the current anti-shame zeitgeist encourages the culturally oppressed to rebel against shame, the experience of shame is sometimes appropriate, preserving certain aspects of the human experience from becoming degraded and meaningless.

Friends

The Toilet Function of Friendship

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on February 16, 2013

Some people treat friendship as a "dumping" ground for their pain.

Some people treat friendship as a "dumping" ground for their pain.

When we idealize celebrities we often envy them as well: first we take vicarious pleasure in their perfect lives and then enjoy watching them fall apart.

In Part One of his interview with Oprah, Lance Armstrong showed no authentic sense of guilt or remorse but continued to display the characteristic defenses against shame at the heart of narcissism.

SSRIs

Good and Bad Reasons for Taking an Anti-Depressant

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on January 6, 2013

Anti-depressants have their uses, but many people take them in order to avoid a life situation or personal truth they find unbearable.

Anti-depressants have their uses, but many people take them in order to avoid a life situation or personal truth they find unbearable.

Forgiveness

The Art of the Apology

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on December 14, 2012

A genuine apology conveys full acceptance of responsibility and never includes the words "if" or "but."

A genuine apology conveys full acceptance of responsibility and never includes the words "if" or "but."

Genuine self-respect grows from living up to our own standards. Narcissism is a defensive cover for an underlying sense of shame, the very opposite of authentic self-esteem.

Narcissism

Narcissistic People & the Lost Art of Conversation

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on November 20, 2012

Shouldn't good conversation involve more than waiting until it's your turn to talk about yourself?

Shouldn't good conversation involve more than waiting until it's your turn to talk about yourself?

Narcissism, blaming/indignant rage, and contempt are the three most common defenses against shame.

Embarrassment

The Origins of Shame

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on November 8, 2012

One of the great fallacies that many scientists have is that everything that is before birth is genetic and that everything that is after birth is learned. This is not the case.

One of the great fallacies that many scientists have is that everything that is before birth is genetic and that everything that is after birth is learned. This is not the case.

Defense Mechanisms

The Psychological Defense as Emotional Lie

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on November 4, 2012

In this unusual new self-help book, psychodynamic views of defense mechanisms and the unconscious mind inform a course in self-exploration.

In this unusual new self-help book, psychodynamic views of defense mechanisms and the unconscious mind inform a course in self-exploration.

Narcissism

Lance Armstrong: The Hero as Narcissist

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on October 31, 2012

Lance Armstrong and his race against shame

Lance Armstrong and his race against shame

Embarrassment

Shame as Unrequited Love

Joseph Burgo Ph.D. on October 27, 2012

New PT blogger Joseph Burgo submits his first blog post exploring the roots of shame in early failures of attunement -- a kind of unrequited love -- between mother and child.

New PT blogger Joseph Burgo submits his first blog post exploring the roots of shame in early failures of attunement -- a kind of unrequited love -- between mother and child.