The Joys of Being Single

The people who declare themselves happiest to be single are those who have just exited a relationship. Mind you, they weren’t left but chose to leave, which makes a difference in one’s mindset.

One woman spoke of pleasure in not having to account for how she spent her own earned money. Another said how much she liked to flirt and did not want to explain herself to her mate that it was harmless. One gay man said he felt lost in “coupledom” and was very happy to be himself once more.

The particular pleasures an individual will express in his or her new freedom are those aspects of self which felt stifled, which may have been part of the compromise in being half of the couple. The variety of individual personalities is why there is such a variety of new liberties being enjoyed.

Woman 1 may not have flirted in her life, may not even know how, so finding that a new freedom would not have occurred to her, while woman 2 may been completely supported financially with no issues about her own money. The gay man is sharing a feeling familiar to many women and men in same- and opposite-sex couples, not just his. Some people find they have compromised too much to be in a particular relationship or have made a bad choice, hence the sense of freedom when they leave it.

Yes, one is often lonely and/or sexually deprived when not in a couple, but this is a good time to re-evaluate and enjoy what you can in being single. Some of the pleasures in not being coupled are:

• Freedom to allot one’s own time in general
• Freedom to spend one’s own money without consulting your mate
• Freedom to spend more time with friends and family
• Freedom to spend on hobbies
• Freedom to catch up on reading or TV shows
• Freedom to focus on your career
• Freedom to date around.

Most important, this is time to re-evaluate your last relationship. Did you choose wrong? Did you not know what you were looking for? Were you not able to negotiate your needs and wants? How can you avoid such problems in your next choice of partner?

Dealing with the issues above will make you ready and able for the next relationship more on your own terms. In the meantime, you are single. Enjoy it.