Helping People Gain Insights

Many professionals have a dual mission – to gain their own insights and then to enable others to grasp these insights or even to reach ones that are different but valuable. Therapists are continually trying to gain and give insights in their sessions with patients. Artists and writers also traffic in insights even though they rarely have a direct relation with their audiences. Historians are engaged in seeking and sharing insights. And, of course, teachers are also in the insight business.

Consider 3rd grade teacher, Deborah Ball, who was surprised when one of her students, Sean, asserted that the number 6 was both odd and even. Instead of correcting him, she asked him to explain. His reason was that three twos make six, so it is composed of both an odd and an even number. The teacher still didn’t correct him. She opened up a class discussion, and one student articulated a rule: odd numbers have one left over when grouped by two’s. Even Sean accepted that rule. The class also identified a form of even number – they called these “Sean numbers” – that contained an odd number of pairs, such as 2 (one pair), 6 (three pairs) and 10 (five pairs). In this incident, Deborah Ball let Sean correct his own thinking. Later, Ball explained that teaching depends on what the students think, not what the teacher thinks.

This example suggests that we can help others by listening to them, not immediately correcting them, but diagnosing what is missing from their understanding.

I previously [[The Different Forms of Insight]] described three paths to insights: making connections, spotting contradictions, and escaping from flawed assumptions. The connection path gets triggered when we diagnose that the person lacks critical information. We just need to provide that information and let the person make his/her own connection. Thus, a therapist might determine that a client is struggling, not through any fault of their own, but because the other person in the relationship has a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The therapist might suggest a source to read rather than offering an opinion, and let the client form his/her judgment.

The contradiction path is initiated when we diagnose that the person is holding a flawed belief. Deborah Ball diagnosed Sean’s flawed belief and let the class provide criteria for distinguishing odd and even numbers. These criteria were inconsistent with Sean’s belief, leading him to discard his claim. Psychotherapists can also recommend that their clients gather observations that will run counter to their flawed beliefs.

The desperation path to insight gets initiated when a person is making unconscious assumptions or is fixating on a flawed belief. Getting the person to discard the flawed belief takes some stronger medicine. We can ‘t ask the person to list his/her assumptions because the critical assumption may be held unconsciously. Think of the 9-dot problem [[The Different Forms of Insight]]. The task is to use four lines to connect all the dots arranged in a 3x3 grid. The unconscious assumptions that hold people back are that they have to stay within the area bounded by the 9 dots, and that they can only change directions on a dot. People aren’t aware that they’re making these assumptions, and therefore would not list these assumptions if asked. Once we diagnose the flawed belief and the reason for its persistence, we can provide a contrasting experience that cannot be reconciled with the belief. So the desperation path requires us to make the proper diagnosis and then design an analogous experience that will challenge the flawed belief.

Creating insights in other people – clients and audiences – requires us to appreciate how they are thinking, instead of just insisting on the right answer. As Deborah Ball explained, it’s about what they think, not what we think.

Follow me on Twitter @KleInsight for updates on decision making and insight.