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Local Perspectives: Digital Detoxing in Toronto

"If something serious or scary happened, I would have to be resourceful."

Mala Rambharose / Used with permission
Mala Rambharose
Source: Mala Rambharose / Used with permission

In the last several years, a topic of popularity has come up in the research world: do breaks from social media improve our well-being? What one study found is that even a one-week break from social media can improve well-being, depression, and anxiety. In another study, women specifically who quit Instagram reported significantly higher levels of life satisfaction and positive affect compared to women who kept using it, particularly when considering their social appearance. Apparently, when no longer comparing how their appearance, habits or opinions fit in, or compare, women who detoxed were significantly happier than those who didn’t. Interestingly, no effects of significance were found on men.

While detoxing from social media is difficult, have you ever considered detoxing from all things digital, all together? Mala Rambharose, a Canadian social impact writer based in Toronto and awarded an Emerging Writer title from the Writer’s Trust of Canada for her children’s book, There’s A Pebble in My Shoe, did just that: she took a full digital detox for a period of two years, going without the digital conveniences of a cellphone, never mind social media.

The following is an interview to understand how Mala digitally detoxed and the effect it had on her:

You participated in a digital detox for yourself long before the term was fashionable. How did you think of it, and why did you decide to give up all forms of social media, and even further digital connection with a cell phone?

Mala: I thought of my digital detox as ‘renunciation’ as it encompassed social separation, no phone/internet at home and whittling food intake down to rice, lentils and vegetables and eventually donating 95% of my possessions.

Being a writer and living on my own, my phone and internet had definitely been cut off before. Like many 20-somethings living downtown, I would just wait for the next pay cheque to reactivate it or if my sister tried calling and couldn’t get through, she would help. But the day I decided not to reactivate I was walking to the Toronto Reference Library from my apartment in the Annex when a $100 bill tumbled down the sidewalk toward my feet. As I bent down to pick it up a homeless man ran over and said he wanted it. I asked the people ahead of us if it had fallen from any of their pockets before handing him the bill. I felt like God had given me the choice to reactivate my phone and internet but also questioned that choice. It was the right time.

What sort of effects did you first notice when you gave up your cell phone? Was it difficult to give up, or did you feel the draw of returning to it?

As a single woman, the first effect I noticed without a cell phone was not addiction related — as some would assume — but, there was an immediate awareness that I was alone in any given situation. If something serious or scary happened, I would have to be resourceful. I was also overcome with guilt that if something bad happened to members of my family, I wouldn’t know or find out in a conventional way.

For me, I don’t think the difficulty is in giving up the cell phone or returning to it. Thankfully being a millennial I have muscle memory of living without a cell phone or internet as a child. But I do think — with any dependency — the question remains whether or not one is ready or prepared to sit with the uncomfortable emotions, memories and regrets of human life without distraction.

How did taking a digital break change your social life?

The first few months were extremely lonely. I didn’t know what to look for or expect. But eventually all the people from my life resurfaced in thoughts, contemplation, memories and dreams. I became the opposite of lonely, savouring the essence of all the people I had spent time with thus far, without the distraction of physicality. I was overwhelmed by the lessons and gratitude that replaced some of my deepest resentments and confusion. As my soul unmeshed with collective conscience, I was left with a greater sense of clarity in a variety of matters.

Did this experience at all help shape you?

I became hyper-aware that my greatest longing in life is for intimacy. So, my goals are the same as before but I understand more deeply why I want these things.

How did you deal with people who weren’t supportive or were judgemental of you embarking on this journey?

Older people I told were usually understanding. They had been through different stages of life already and gathered the value of spending time alone with God. That being said, I didn’t tell my parents and let them find out ‘organically’. The younger people were often hurt or confused — like I was rejecting them. I was supposed to be excited about building a career, dating, travelling and partying, so wanting time away from the rat race seemed crazy. The hardest conversation was with my sister, who was the most genuinely worried.

Did you notice any effect that taking this break hard on your mental health?

This is a funny question. Being well-adapted to the rat-race often means being mentally unwell but surviving productively. When I reintegrated into society after renunciation and opened up about the experience, the first responses I received were closer to the idea that I had lost my mind. I experienced more understanding, healing and productivity than I could have imagined but this was irrelevant because the central focus of my life for two years was somewhat separated from capitalism and group think. What happened to me was just too unrealistic (profound) to be taken seriously.

Do you have any advice for anyone who is considering going on a digital break?

The number one piece of advice I have is to move in baby steps — to build the muscle. I wouldn’t recommend renunciation because it can be a shocking experience. I think it is good to go for a walk without a cell phone or talk to your partner over dinner without watching something in the background. Over time trying a weekend digital detox and eventually attending a weeklong retreat. I think that is enough, to read books and spend time in nature. If everyone in this part of the world just slept a little more and looked at screens a little less, it would make a big difference.

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