How Rare Are Rape and Bondage Fantasies?

Source: Klaus Haussman/Pixabay

Since the #MeToo movement began in 2017, there has been increased global attention to the problem of sexual violence. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that more than 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men will experience sexual violence involving physical contact within their lifetime. To prevent sexual violence, it is important to understand risk factors. According to the CDC, risk factors for sexual violence include but are not limited to substance abuse, delinquent behavior, a personal history of childhood abuse and maltreatment, poverty, and societal norms that are supportive of sexual violence and the inferiority of women.

One area that has been investigated as a potential risk factor for sexual violence is fantasies related to rape and bondage. It seems logical that someone who would engage in rape and sadomasochistic fantasies (getting sexual pleasure from inflicting pain or humiliation to another person or oneself) would then be more likely to enact those behaviors. However, there is little research to support this direct link. While there is some evidence that those who perpetrate sex crimes have deviant sexual fantasies, the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomenon (the book Fifty Shades of Grey, which involves BDSM, was one of the fastest-selling adult books of all time and subsequently it was made into several motion pictures), suggests that these types of fantasies may not be unique to sex offenders. In fact, researchers were considering adding a diagnosis of paraphilic coercive disorder (being aroused by non-consent, i.e., rape) to the latest edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (the DSM-5, which is the Bible of psychiatric diagnosis in the United States), but it was once again rejected, as there was insufficient evidence to suggest that such a disorder exists given the large number of individuals endorsing such fantasies.

In order to investigate whether rape and bondage fantasies were in fact deviant, several researchers have investigated their prevalence in the general population. One study conducted with 1,516 adults in Quebec, Canada found that domination fantasies were common in both men and women, while fantasies about being raped were present in 28.9% of women and 30.7% of men, and fantasies about raping someone were reported by 10.8% of women and 22% of men as seen below. Surprisingly, a little over 10% of women and 22% of men reporting fantasizing about sexually abusing a person who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious.

• Fantasized about being dominated sexually (64.6% women; 53.3% men)
• Fantasized about dominating someone sexually (46.7% women; 59.6% men)
• Fantasized about being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure (52.1% women; 46.2% men)
• Fantasized about tying someone up in order to obtain sexual pleasure (41.7% women; 48.4% men)
• Fantasized about spanking or whipping someone to obtain sexual pleasure (23.8% women; 43.5% men)
• Fantasized about being spanked or whipped someone to obtain sexual pleasure (36.3% women; 28.5% men)
• Fantasized about being forced to have sex (28.9% women; 30.7% men)
• Fantasized about forcing someone to have sex (10.8% women; 22.0% men)
• Fantasized about sexually abusing a person who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious (10.8% women; 22.6% men)

A similar study was conducted using a representative sample of U.S. adults and found that of the adults surveyed the following sexual behaviors were reported to be very appealing or somewhat appealing:

• Tying up your partner or being tied up as part of sex (28.5% men; 29.5% women)
• Playfully whipping of being whipped by a partner as part of sex (20.7% men; 20% women)
• Spanking or being spanked as part of sex (26% men; 30.6% women)
• Having rough sex (42.1% men; 40% women)
• Going to a BDSM club, party, or dungeon (8.2% men; 5.9% women)
• Playfully biting or being bitten as part of sex (44.5% men; 43.2% women)
• Experiencing pain as part of sex (8.5% men; 14.2% women)

Some have speculated that rape fantasies among women are essentially fantasies about being consensually overpowered. In order to investigate this, another study of 355 female undergraduate students in the U.S., researchers found that 62% of the women reported a rape fantasy. Of those, 9% reported completely aversive rape fantasies (non-consent and resistance throughout), 45% reported completely erotic rape fantasies (feigned non-consent), and 46% reported both erotic and aversive rape fantasies (starts consensually then becomes non-consensual), suggesting that while for some women rape fantasies may be only erotic, others actually do fantasize about aversive rape experiences.

These findings suggest that rape and bondage fantasies are relatively common among both men and women and should not be considered deviant in and of themselves. Such fantasies should only be considered problematic or pathological if they cause the individual distress or if the individual acts on nonconsensual fantasies.