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Perfectionism

The psychology of never good enough.

Perfectionism
Is Passion Overrated?

Leon Garber LMHC on October 16, 2024

It's argued that passion is overrated, yet it helps us cope with our inevitable failures and disappointing successes.

It's argued that passion is overrated, yet it helps us cope with our inevitable failures and disappointing successes.

Intelligence
Depression and Anxiety in Gifted Children

Leon Garber LMHC on October 13, 2024

Anxiety and depression in gifted children tend to manifest from perfectionism, the inevitable failures of grandiose expectations, and existential anxiety.

Anxiety and depression in gifted children tend to manifest from perfectionism, the inevitable failures of grandiose expectations, and existential anxiety.

Decision-Making
Help! I Can't Make a Decision

Leon Garber LMHC on October 9, 2024

Chronic indecisiveness is caused by extremely high self-oriented expectations, self-doubt, and dysfunctional ways of thinking.

Chronic indecisiveness is caused by extremely high self-oriented expectations, self-doubt, and dysfunctional ways of thinking.

Perfectionism
Limerence and Maladaptive Daydreaming

Leon Garber LMHC on October 2, 2024

Limerence is bidirectionally related to maladaptive daydreaming. Yet, the problem is deeper than any specific frustration. Both indicate an inability to cope with life.

Limerence is bidirectionally related to maladaptive daydreaming. Yet, the problem is deeper than any specific frustration. Both indicate an inability to cope with life.

Relationships
Captured by Limerence

Leon Garber LMHC on September 29, 2024

While limerence may seem like love, its qualities differ in meaningful ways, which, when discovered, help address it.

While limerence may seem like love, its qualities differ in meaningful ways, which, when discovered, help address it.

Narcissism
Is Narcissism Really Just a Prison?

Leon Garber LMHC on September 24, 2024

Despite the popular view of narcissists as people who deliberately choose to harm others, they're often ruled by their base fears and desires.

Despite the popular view of narcissists as people who deliberately choose to harm others, they're often ruled by their base fears and desires.

Shame
Sometimes, You Just Need a Nap

Leon Garber LMHC on September 18, 2024

While therapy and introspection may be helpful, more basic strategies, like taking a walk, may be equally so.

While therapy and introspection may be helpful, more basic strategies, like taking a walk, may be equally so.

Therapy
How Helpful Is a Mental Health Diagnosis?

Leon Garber LMHC on September 11, 2024

Personal Perspective: Whether to diagnose is a controversial topic. It masks three problems: people wishing to avoid criticism, therapist collusion, and therapists who shame.

Personal Perspective: Whether to diagnose is a controversial topic. It masks three problems: people wishing to avoid criticism, therapist collusion, and therapists who shame.

Shame
Treatment Resistance and the Therapist's Shame

Leon Garber LMHC on September 8, 2024

Personal Perspective: Concepts like treatment resistance and projective identification are often employed to absolve therapists of responsibility for the failure of treatment.

Personal Perspective: Concepts like treatment resistance and projective identification are often employed to absolve therapists of responsibility for the failure of treatment.

Parenting
Don't Be a "Good Mother"

Leon Garber LMHC on August 27, 2024

D.W. Winnicott noted that being a "good enough" parent was better than being a good one. Here's why trying too hard may backfire.

D.W. Winnicott noted that being a "good enough" parent was better than being a good one. Here's why trying too hard may backfire.

Perfectionism
The 'Shoulds' of Tyranny

Leon Garber LMHC on August 22, 2024

The "shoulds" may help us become better people, but they also contribute to us becoming worse at the same time.

The "shoulds" may help us become better people, but they also contribute to us becoming worse at the same time.

Relationships
Control Is the Opposite of Love

Leon Garber LMHC on August 19, 2024

While self-protection is good in moderate doses, it can, in higher ones, lead to excessive pride, which masks vulnerability and hinders the prospect of love.

While self-protection is good in moderate doses, it can, in higher ones, lead to excessive pride, which masks vulnerability and hinders the prospect of love.

Jealousy
Envy Is Often Based on Delusional Thinking

Leon Garber LMHC on August 17, 2024

Envy is often pathological, created, in part, by a distorted way of seeing the world. Learning to balance hope and reality can help clear up the view.

Envy is often pathological, created, in part, by a distorted way of seeing the world. Learning to balance hope and reality can help clear up the view.

Perfectionism
The Shame of Perfectionism

Leon Garber LMHC on August 13, 2024

Counterintuitively, being preoccupied with problem-solving to manage your shame may create more problems, spiraling out of control.

Counterintuitively, being preoccupied with problem-solving to manage your shame may create more problems, spiraling out of control.

Authenticity
Change Isn't Always Good for You

Leon Garber LMHC on July 30, 2024

Despite popular belief, patients resist change not only because they fear it, but also because they wish to remain authentic.

Despite popular belief, patients resist change not only because they fear it, but also because they wish to remain authentic.