Finding Power in Doing the "Next Right Thing"

The last few months have been a series of chaotic adjustments and uncertainty as we continue to live in a pandemic, continue to fight against racial warfare, and remain vigilant to the constant threat to our civic and human rights. In a 2021 stress study, most Americans (81 percent) reported feeling that uncertainty is a top source of their stress.

The more uncertain something is, the more we struggle to gain control. For many, myself included, what this translates to is vacillating between flight-fight-freeze-fawn stress responses to uncertainty.

Some people are okay with uncertainty—they even embrace it. The University of Texas at Austin believes the ability to lean into uncertainty and use it as a learning mechanism is so important, they have a course on it: Just Stop: Zen, Stress, Anxiety, and Uncertainty[AVE1]. The course is based on Buddhist principles of sitting with the uncertainty and “letting it move through you” without needing to control it.

Stress and Uncertainty

If you aren’t part of the less than 15 percent of the population that isn’t stressed out, the American Psychological Association offers several suggestions that might help: Be kind to yourself, reflect on your past success, develop new skills, limit your exposure to news or negativity, engage in self-care, ask for help and seek support from those you trust.

These are all good suggestions and easy to incorporate in small or big ways, but what if that still doesn’t help? What if your uncertainty about the future is filled with anxiety, tinged with anticipatory loss or grief, or just plain overwhelming?

Anticipatory Grief

Anticipatory grief occurs when loss or trauma is expected or imminent. Feelings of impotency, anger, fear, and anxiety are natural, especially if you have been in this situation for a prolonged period of time. Catastrophizing, or imagining the worst-case scenario, is a danger, as overthinking or overplanning for something we do not know will happen still does not change the situation. It can also trigger overwhelming feelings about how to gain control or fix the situation. But what if we didn’t have to? What if we just had to do the next right thing?

Next and Necessary Things

“The next right thing” is an idea made popular from the 12 steps of recovery (i.e., Alcoholics Anonymous), but actually the concept was introduced by renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung, two years before Alcoholics Anonymous was even founded. In a letter to an unknown correspondent, Jung advises that he does not know how she “ought” to live and indeed, she doesn’t know the future either, but that she does know “the next and most necessary thing.” He advises by doing that “next and most necessary thing,” she will “always be doing something meaningful.”

Gymnast Laurie Hernandez shared that she handles the enormity of her anxiety by focusing on the smallest next thing she has to make a decision about. Really small. Like what candle scent to buy or what color ribbon to wear. It stuck with me and I've found myself putting this idea into practice these last few months. I ask myself, what is the next incremental-totally-in-my-control-right-thing that I have to do?

Right for You

Just think about it—the simplicity of this idea is its real power. For instance, we might not be able to renovate our entire home, but we can change the paint color of a room. You can’t lose 30 pounds overnight, but you can plan your meals for the week. And, no, you can’t wave a magic wand and get rid of your anxiety, but you can learn how to do breathing exercises and get grounded in the present. In fact, the next right thing is all about being grounded in the present. The next right thing is not a week from now. It’s right now. The best part is, that you define the next right thing because it must be right for you.

For all of you standing at the precipice of the unknown (and who isn’t there?), take comfort—you can always handle the next right thing before you. Don’t overthink it. Don’t worry needlessly about 10 steps from now. Control what is right in front of you. It might mean reorganizing and regrouping or creating a short (but focused) to-do list. If you are able to, it might mean taking a day to yourself or pressing pause on a stressful situation. It might mean doing nothing. You decide what the next right thing is. You do it. Then move on to the next. This is how we walk that journey of a thousand steps (figuratively, hopefully)... one next right thing at a time.