High Achievers: Time to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

I have a cat who hates change.

We move the couch to the other wall in the living room to free up space and he stands on it and glares at me the rest of the day.

I take out my suitcase to pack for a work trip and he sits in the suitcase and meows like the world is ending.

PetSmart is out of his favorite ocean pâté food and he looks at his food bowl, then up at me, like I’ve failed as a pet owner.

But I get it. Because our brains operate a lot like my cat some days.

Your brain’s no. 1 goal is to keep you safe.

What doesn’t feel safe for your brain? Change.

Even exciting changes like starting a new job, or getting a promotion, or finally landing that big client you’ve been pitching for months.

In response to all that change our brains turn into cats: They put up resistance.

What if I start this new job and I’m not smart enough, or I mess it all up?

What if I can’t live up to this new position or I let my team down?

What if I fail with this new client. I don’t know where to start. I’m so stressed. And overwhelmed. And I knew I couldn’t hack it.

Which can lead your brain down a rabbit hole trying to keep you safe with default responses like:

• Imposter syndrome: I’m not smart enough for this and everyone’s going to figure it out.
• Perfectionism: If I just work super hard and learn to live without sleep maybe I can get it right.
• Procrastination: I don’t know where to start. Maybe I’ll just put it off until tomorrow.

Our brains don’t like to fail. Especially as hard-working, goal-setting high achievers.

Because failure feels uncomfortable for your brain.

So to keep you safe your brain says: It’s better to hold myself back. To not go all in. To procrastinate. And doubt me. And worry.

Because then if I fail, it’s not because I’m a failure; I just didn’t work hard enough.

The thing is, when we hold ourselves back when we’re terrified to fail, we end up like my cranky cat—sitting on the couch wishing things were different and feeling bad about ourselves.

The good news? Our brains love feeling in control.

And you can use that mental default to your advantage to start training your brain to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Three Steps to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

1. Start small.

Remember how our brains don’t like feeling uncomfortable, and they’re terrified of messing up? When we try to jump way outside our comfort zone, it can create resistance in our brains.

Your brain says—this is way too much too fast, time for defense mode—and you’re way more likely to spiral into imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and procrastination.

Instead, think about baby steps.

What’s one small action you can take today to stretch your confidence muscle?

Apply for that job. Or have a conversation with your boss about potential promotions. Or reach out to a potential new client by email.

These small actions tell your brain it’s OK to feel a bit uncomfortable. You can handle the stretch. And you’ll feel more confident taking follow-up steps.

2. Focus on the best possible outcome.

Our brains are excellent storytellers. Their favorite stories? The disaster ones are about how you might mess it all up and fail; all those what-ifs.

That’s the default. Where your brain is going to go first. To keep you safe.

To counteract that tendency, actively focus on the best possible outcome. Your brain already knows the worst-case scenario (it’s probably come up with five of them already while you read this post).

In order to feel comfortable being uncomfortable, point that magnificent brain in the best-case scenario.

Grab a pen and paper and spend five minutes writing down all the ways taking action might go right.

Then start taking those baby steps.

3. Transform failure from a noun to a verb.

No fancy grammar education is required here.

Right now your brain is likely treating failure like a noun.

“I’m a failure.”

The problem is our brains are wired for language. And the words we use, even in our own head, matter.

When you believe failing makes you a failure, your brain feels uncomfortable. Because we don't want to be failures. So we hold back.

Instead, we want our brains to see failure as a verb.

“I failed.”

Because that creates control. Now failure is just a thing that happens. A possible outcome. Not something that defines who you are.

So we’re much less likely to hold ourselves back or resist change.

It feels uncomfortable when we take chances. When we embrace the fear of failure. When we go after those big, bold, audacious career goals. But the alternative is to stay stuck.

If you have big goals, but it feels like your brain keeps getting in your way, give these three steps a try. You might be surprised that the scary thing you’ve been avoiding doesn't feel that terrifying after all.