The Changing View of Men on Mental Health

It is likely no surprise that women have traditionally outnumbered men in therapy, both in seeking care as well as becoming therapists themselves. Yet the data suggests that there is a massive need for mental healthcare for men and boys. Men are twice as likely than women to have problems with substance abuse, half as likely to seek medical care in the case of an overdose, and men die by suicide at four times the rate of women.

Beginning in adolescence, boys and men are less likely to seek out healthcare. This means that while women are more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety and depression, men are less likely to be diagnosed at all.

With such an obvious need, why have men traditionally been so hesitant to seek mental healthcare?

The answer lies in the expectations placed on us from an early age. Men have inherited old social norms that dictate how to be considered a “real man.” Among these are requirements of self-reliance, limiting any emotional expression, and, most importantly, never being perceived as weak. Society’s definition of masculinity discourages us from seeking help, especially mental healthcare.

Unfortunately, though, emotional struggles don’t go away if ignored. Instead, they fester.

In general, acceptance of mental healthcare has grown exponentially over the last couple of decades. Where once people felt shame overseeing a therapist, many now easily acknowledge that they see and benefit from therapy. In fact, it’s becoming respectable to intentionally work on yourself and take care of your mental health; these days, men are almost equally represented in mental healthcare.

Several factors have contributed to these changes. Our culture has made large strides in expanding gender expression, which means that men can begin to embrace things they used to believe they couldn’t. This includes therapy.

Moreover, men are becoming more vocal about their experiences as men. As men courageously share their experiences, they realize that many others feel the same way. They find that many other men don’t feel like they fit the restrictive definitions of traditional manhood. In fact, Dr. Ronald Levant’s research shows that the majority of men actually do not ascribe to those traditional masculine ideals.

Part of the work that must be done when seeking help is the need to address our personal relationship to masculinity.

As a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to explore masculinity with many men. Those sessions became almost sacred, as they were able to risk being vulnerable with another man in ways they never had been. Many, if not most, felt they didn’t belong as a man, left on the outside looking in. For all, there was a deep craving for brotherhood and emotional connection with other men.

The world desperately needs men with the courage to face their emotional wounding. It is the only way to grow beyond our past and live a more complete life. When that work is ignored, we are more likely to react to our anxieties and fears, damaging our relationships in the process. As Freud once put it: “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Some in our culture see this shifting of male norms as a threat, but I can attest from my own experience that it can be a liberation. Men are beginning to find emotional room to breathe and to allow themselves to care for their whole being. This change in modern masculine norms will only accelerate as more men take the leap into therapy and do their inner healing work.

To find a therapist, visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory.