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Leadership
How to Not Lead With Fear and Selfishness
Fear and selfishness will wreak havoc on leaders and their organizations.
Updated August 29, 2023 Reviewed by Ray Parker
Key points
- Leadership behaviors driven out of fear and selfishness can lead to toxic work settings.
- Toxic work settings leave people emotionally drained and ready to quit.
- Cultivating a more considerate and unselfish leadership style helps leaders and their people act confidently.
A leader’s tendencies towards fear and selfishness considerably contribute to negative actions and consequences within an organization.
For example, an affinity towards micro-management, risk-aversion, and authoritarianism are just some of the bad behaviors driven out of fear, while a leader’s selfishness often manifests in incessant self-promotion, a lack of transparency, and little accountability when things don’t go as planned.
Clearly, leadership behaviors are driven out of fear and selfishness only bring about the kinds of toxic work settings that leave people emotionally drained and heading for greener pastures.
Business leaders must do better.
Here are some suggestions to cultivate a more considerate and unselfish leadership style:
1. Nurture self-awareness and mindfulness: Start by becoming more aware of your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. Pay attention to moments when fear or selfishness arises within you. By recognizing these tendencies, you can take steps to address them.
Ideas like practicing empathy and fostering gratitude can be the first natural steps to take. Indeed, putting yourself in other people's shoes and trying to understand their perspectives, feelings, and needs can go a long way in reducing selfish tendencies.
Additionally, cultivating a sense of appreciation for the things you have and the people around you and focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your mindset away from fear and more towards generosity and compassion.
2. Pursue diverse perspectives: Surround yourself with people from different backgrounds and cultures. Engage in open and honest conversations that challenge your own beliefs and biases. This exposure to diverse perspectives can broaden your understanding and reduce fear-based thinking.
Use this exposure to different ideas as a catalyst for more deliberately practicing kindness and generosity, especially in those moments when there is disagreement. Actively seeking opportunities to better understand and respect differences in others not only contributes to your well-being but to the well-being of those on your team. Indeed, generosity and kindness are antidotes to selfishness and fear.
3. Educate yourself: Learn about the challenges and struggles faced by different individuals and communities. Educate yourself on social issues, global concerns, and the impact of your actions on others. This knowledge can foster empathy and inform your decisions and behaviors.
With a better-informed perspective, you can begin to see the value of increased collaboration and cooperation. Instead of approaching situations with a competitive mindset, work with others to find win-win solutions that benefit everyone involved. This approach promotes a sense of shared responsibility and diminishes the fear of failing and the selfishness that comes when you falsely believe that there’s not enough credit to go around.
4. Examine your values: Take time to reflect on your core values. If they’re self-centered you just might want to tweak them to be more about others than you. From there, identify the values you want to embody, such as compassion, fairness, and integrity. Regularly check in with yourself to ensure you are living in alignment with these values.
If you find that you’re not, know that others see that, too. In fact, when we recognize someone not “walking their talk,” we immediately lose trust and respect for that individual. Don’t let yourself be that person. Rather, do the work required to live your values and be your authentic self.
5. Practice self-care: Taking care of your own well-being is crucial in developing a mindset free from fear and selfishness. Prioritize self-care activities that promote physical, mental, and emotional well-being. When you are balanced and fulfilled, you are more likely to approach situations with a positive mindset.
It’s amazing how much better we can feel by simply eating, sleeping, and exercising. Do those things for yourself and you will begin to notice that you face the work world with more patience, understanding, and respect for others, which can tame any tendencies you might possess towards operating from fear or selfishness.
To close, remember that change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion along the way. By consciously working on these aspects of yourself, you will gradually reduce fear and selfishness, and cultivate a more compassionate and generous approach to leading and interacting with others.
