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When choosing a therapist, counselor, or coach, it’s tempting to just get a referral from a trusted friend. But it’s highly unlikely that with all the counselors out there, your friend’s practitioner is the best and most cost-effective fit you could find without undue effort.
It's also overly restrictive to rely on a reference from a professional such as your physician—they rarely see a recommended practitioner in action.
You’re seeing a counselor because you have a serious issue, so it's wise to treat the selection process seriously.
Finding a good-fit practitioner
Check out reviews on Yelp and Google. Or, if you’re looking for a psychotherapist, you might start with Psychology Today’s Find a Therapist, and when you’ve identified a few whose specialty and style seem to fit, see their reviews on Yelp and Google.
Even their mugshot might tell you something: If their style of dress and hair are compatible with yours, it’s probably a plus. If the practitioner is shown, for example, in nature rather than in an office, that’s another data point, plus or minus. And sometimes you just get an intuition that you and the practitioner are compatible and that s/he would "get" you.
Then Google-search each prospective counselor's name. If s/he has written an article(s) or books, done videos, or even from your reading the text on the practitioner's website, do you sense your style might be compatible, for example, heart- or rationality-centered, slow versus fast-paced, focused on early trauma versus the here-and-now? Also, Googling their name often reveals much more about them: their interests, relationships, affiliations, kudos, and brickbats.
Interviewing a prospective practitioner
Interview at least two counselors on the phone or Skype before choosing one. Here’s an approach you might take:
"Thanks for getting back to me promptly. May I ask what sorts of problems and clients you’ve been quite helpful with?" By asking that first rather than describing your situation, you’re more likely to get an unbiased response.
If the answer suggests a poor fit, it may still be tempting to continue the conversation but consider ending it because you want someone who is particularly effective with someone like you. Even if the practitioner's later answers are appealing, that probably is insufficient to outweigh the problem of a poor fit.
If you do decide to continue the conversation, ask something like:
"Might I briefly describe my situation and you give me some idea of if and how you might work with me?" Then listen carefully and trust both your head and your heart.
If you still think the person might be a good fit, ask about price, not just the per-session cost but how many sessions the practitioner would guess you’ll end up having. That gives you a sense of your likely total commitment in money and time.
If you’re interested in sessions by phone or Skype, ask how s/he feels about that versus in-person?
Unless you’re quite sure that this person is worth at least one trial session, end with,
"I’ve appreciated speaking with you. I’m going to talk with one or two other practitioners and will get back to you either way. Again, thank you so much for talking with me. It was very helpful."
After you're off the phone, ask yourself:
Does the practitioner seem to understand you and your situation? And do you feel good about how s/he’d proceed and the likely steps forward?
You might also consider discussing your potential choice with someone close to you, and doing it again after a few sessions. Does that person think you're getting better? Does s/he notice any unwanted side effects?
After having spoken with two or three practitioners, it’s time to decide: Should you have a trial session with one? With two? Or do you sense that, for now, a bit more self-help would be wiser?
I read this aloud on YouTube.
