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Sit on my face and tell me that you love me…
I’m not very used to feeling patriotic. But there are times when I harbour a desire to stand to attention, place a hand upon my manly breast, and feel a swelling sense of national pride as the strains of Rule Britannia play out over the phonograph….
…such as when 500 of my fellow British citizens decide to hold a mass face-sitting outside the Mother of Parliaments. (1). Yes, you didn’t miss-read that. These fine folk are going to sit on one another in blatant contradiction of some new rulings of what can and can’t be depicted in pornography. They are doing it tomorrow. Do join them, if you can! And, if you can’t, please consider signing their petition (2).
Sit in
…I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you too
They are carrying out this protest in response to the December 1st ruling that domestically produced pornography, available on the internet, must fall under the same rules as DVDs bought in sex shops (3). Why does this matter? One reason is that the various and curious rules around this (see below) will effectively kill off the income of lots of local sex workers—many of whom are women working for themselves in cottage industries.
This is a cause worth making a stand (or a sit) for. Why? Well, even if you don’t care about sex-workers themselves (and you should) pornography is the canary in the coalmine. As pastor Niemöller reminded us (4)—the authoritarians always start out by coming for the people you won’t protect and you end up wishing you had made a stand when you had the chance. But there are other reasons too, such as a sense of the absurd.
I love to hear you oralize…
So, let’s get this straight. Real torture, that my country actively connived at, and sacked those like ex-ambassador Craig Murray who stood up to it (5) —that gets a pass? (6) Play versions like this
All limbs tied and gagged--strictly illegal. oo-er!
This would be strictly illegal. Is this some kind of sick joke at our expense? Because, if so, I’m not laughing.
…When I'm between your thighs
Some people are aroused by varying levels of symbolic sexual naughtiness. And I’m pretty sure that some of them are reading this—because 100 million of you bought Fifty Shades of Grey—so don’t get all coy and defensive on me now! We know what you like…
…play versions of beatings, play versions of sexual humiliations, play restraints and role-play in general. To be carried out, by consenting adults only. Consenting adults who can call a halt when play gets too rough, can set their limits, can use safe words (or gestures). We play at lots of things we wouldn’t do in real life, and that’s fine. We also play at theft, murder and mayhem (in video games, movies and books). And that’s fine too.
…You blow me away!
Knowing the difference between reality and fantasy is a mark of sanity. One that my government apparently, does not possess. Kinky people are not sick or weird—indeed most studies show those with rich sexual fantasy lives in general, and BDSM practitioners in particular to be more stable in general (7).
And, we seem to have been interested in such ritual play for a long time—maybe over 25000 years as I explore in a paper coming out next year (8).
Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you…
But what about those of you who are not interested in such things? Why should you care about this government over-reach into sex lives and their portrayal? Well, here is one reason: Because pornography—when not used a substitute for sex education (9)—is good for countries generally. I have blogged about this before but in terms of lowering sex-related crime across countries (10) and comparing states within countries (11) more liberal access to porn equals less sex crime (12).
…I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly
But, it’s ok when the state does things to non-consenting adults, but it’s not ok when consenting adults do it to one another? This may not be the ultimate example of the human ability for rank hypocrisy and double-think—but it will do until the ultimate example comes along. There is no way to ban sexual acts between consenting adults that does not do violence to every principle upon which liberal enlightenment democracy stands. And the same goes for portraying them (to other consenting adults).
Life can be fine if we both sixty nine…
I first got interested in this when I was approached by a nice group of angry ladies called Feminists Against Censorship somewhere I was interviewing participants for a study on female orgasm (13). We had found that female ejaculation was a surprisingly common event during sex. We had (and still have) no clear idea why it happens. But—it happens, so we reported on it. The FAC crowd were incensed (not with us, I stress) that the depiction of such an event was banned in porn. Why? Well, the letter they showed us from the BBFC claimed that the justification for this was that “British juries regularly said that such material was obscene”. (14)
…If we sit on our faces in all sorts of places…
Here is a full list of things that the BBFC says that you say (if you could serve on a jury) are obscene:
Caning
Aggressive whipping
Penetration by any object "associated with violence"
Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of if consensual)
Urolagnia (known as "water sports")
Role-playing as non-adults
Physical restraint
Female ejaculation
Strangulation
Face-sitting
Fisting
…And play till we're blown away!
British juries. That’s you lot. Juries are meant to be drawn from the general population. Now I know that at least some of you are into at least some of these things. Because you buy books that lovingly describe them. So maybe it’s time to tell the BBFC, and the government whether you really want these things banned. And even if you do want them banned—make no mistake. Governments get a taste for banning things. Well, the fantasy versions at least. They seem fine with carrying them out in reality.
Update
More sex please, we're British!
And that petition again https://submissions.epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/72693
References
2) https://www.facebook.com/events/751869001527441/ facebook page for it
3) http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/a-long-list-of-sex-acts-just-got-banned-in-uk-porn-9897174.html
4) Pastor Niemoller “First they came for the socialists” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_they_came_...
6) https://www.craigmurray.org.uk/ Craig Murray was ambassador to Uzbekistan. He was sacked when he exposed the UK complicity in torture.
7) Wismeijer, A. A., & Assen, M. A. (2013). Psychological characteristics of BDSM practitioners. The journal of sexual medicine, 10(8), 1943-1952.
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jsm.12192/abstract;jsessioni…
http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/31/us-bdsm-practitioners-idUSBRE94U17J20130531
8) King, R. (In press for Mankind Quarterly). Venus in Mammoth Furs: Evidence of Bridal Capture Practices in Ice Age Art.
9) http://makelovenotporn.com/ Cindi Gallup Make Love Not Porn campaign Gallup is not anti porn, but she does make a good case for saying that it should not substitute for sex education.
10) Diamond, M., Jozifkova, E., & Weiss, P. (2011). Pornography and sex crimes in the Czech Republic. Archives of sexual behavior, 40(5), 1037-1043.
Ferguson, C. J., & Hartley, R. D. (2009). The pleasure is momentary… the expense damnable?: The influence of pornography on rape and sexual assault. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 14(5), 323-329
11) Kendall, T. (2006). Pornography, rape, and the internet (http://obu-investigators.com/xuk/porn/clemson/kendall.pdf)
12) Magnanti, B. (2012). The Sex Myth: Why Everything We're Told is Wrong. " Hachette Digital, Inc.". Excellent on many counts—but also explodes the myths about the exploitation of women in porn. Female performers are typically worth much more than men and call the shots.
13) King, R., & Belsky, J. (2012). A typological approach to testing the evolutionary functions of human female orgasm. Archives of sexual behavior, 41(5), 1145-1160.
14) Achille, L., & Wilkinson, C. (2001). Submission to the BBFC: Female ejaculation: Research contrary to BBFC ruling and replies. An open letter detailing objections to banning portrayals of female ejaculation on film. On behalf of Feminists Against Censorship. Retrieved from http://www.fiawol.demon.co.uk/FAC/femejac.htm on 10/12/14
