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Source: Jose Mediavilla/FlickrThere are two types of pain, one that hurts you and the other that changes you. ~Unknown
1. Raise your hand if you have ever blown off the gym.
2. Raise your hand if you have ever held on to a problem way too long.
Not surprisingly, number two causes more pain because you’re squandering precious time and energy by the sheer inefficiency of it all.
However, because most of us fall into the first camp, let’s start there.
Maybe you’re one of the approximately 82% of eager beavers who plunked down hard cold cash on January 2, only to see that gym membership card on your keyring gathering dust by the end of February.
Your ambivalence is understandable—working out and enduring physical pain (not to mention the utter discomfort of breathlessness) can be a drag. The majority of us have been there, and not done that.
Perhaps this is one reason bootcamps are all the rage. Bootcamps are designed to get you looking and feeling better though a series of intense exercises and lessons in a short amount of time. And boy, do we love getting our behinds kicked.
A quick “bootcamp” search via Google yielded ways to hack the the following areas:
Yes, you read that last line correctly. Apparently, you and your partner can spend a weekend with a coach and work through any sexual issues without drugs, drama or disagreements.
And you thought your job was a barrel of monkeys.
Is the real reason you’re not getting fit, repairing your relationship, or stepping on your partner’s toes because you’re working the wrong plan?
Are you stuck in a rut of “I should be able to do this without help-itis"?
I get the glory of self-reliance, but at what point do you say to yourself, "Enough! This is just not working"?
Is needing a drill instructor really that bad?
“I decided to be really honest with myself. I asked myself: What is really going to work? What is going to keep me on track? To me, the answer was obvious: I needed a babysitter. I met Mike, and I knew he wouldn’t let me get away with anything. The decision was made.” ~Gary Vaynerchuk
“Just tell me what to do!”
There comes a point in the therapy room when even the most self-motivated client pleads with me for concrete, step-by-step directions to overcome a problem area. Bootcamp therapy, anyone?
Maybe you haven't realized how much you’ve been putting off making a transformative change until now.
You might be sabotaging yourself in spite of your best intentions.
There is an understandable fear that if you let your guard down, you’ll get hurt, or that this information you don’t know how to do will be used against you.” Garret Keizer
Here are three common fears which stop us from asking for help.
1. Fear of appearing weak, needy or incompetent.
Counter belief: You are not superhuman. In fact, Superman and Wonder Woman were born in 1933 and 1941, respectively. Let’s leave them at the Smithsonian where they belong. Besides, thinking you can do it all is a farce (it also half-rhymes with ‘narcissism’).
2. Fear that revealing your problems means they won't disappear.
Counter belief: Delaying decisions leads to panic mode. If you can't make your mortgage payment, contacting the bank two weeks before the payment is due will yield a better result than not alerting them at all. As the saying goes, better late than never.
3. Fear of the price, or the cost associated with paying someone to bail you out.
Counter belief: How about fearing the cost of not changing? There is no such thing as a free lunch. Everything worth doing in life comes with a price. If money is tripping you up, ask yourself how much your stress, sleepless nights and unhealthy relationships are costing you?
So you don’t posses the required skill set, mental or physical capabilities, or will power? Someone else does. An emotionally evolved person values her time and recognizes that reaching out is the answer. Scaling strengths while taxing others with your not-so strong skills is smart, savvy, and sexy.
You have three choices when your back is continuously pressed against the proverbial wall:
1. Do nothing.
2. Figure out the solution on your own.
3. Hire a babysitter/coach/therapist/drill instructor.
“Time – the one asset none of us are ever gonna get more of.” ~Gary Vaynerchuk
I’ll gladly drop and give 10 deep breaths in the name of efficiency any day.
What about you?
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If you’d like to get started on a 30-day path to achieve more positive emotions, healthier relationships, increased energy and productivity, check out the Wellness Bootcamp.
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Copyright 2015 Linda Esposito, LCSW
