How to Support Your Child Through Trauma

It is well established that trauma can have devastating effects on a child’s wellbeing. At the same time, research has shown that, with the proper pieces in place, a child can recover from adversity and go on to lead a rewarding and fulfilling life.

These last few years have brought with them social unrest, political upheaval, a pandemic, war, economic hardship, and all of the isolation, fear, and uncertainty that comes with such events. In 2021, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, the Children’s Hospital Association, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, jointly declared children's mental health a national health crisis.

In their declaration letter, these highly regarded institutions stated that “We are caring for young people with soaring rates of depression, anxiety, trauma, loneliness, and suicidality that will have lasting impacts on them, their families, and their communities.” (AACAP; CHA; AAP, 2021). With this in mind, parents and caretakers should be acutely aware of possible trauma that their child has incurred, as well as the tools necessary to effectively respond if their child displays signs and symptoms of trauma.

Research suggests that trauma-informed parenting is effective in mitigating the negative effects of trauma on children. A meta-analysis conducted by Johnson, Elam, Rogers & Hilley (2018) found that trauma-informed parenting may increase positive parenting and child psychosocial outcomes. Murray, Sullivan, Lent, Chaplo, & Tunno (2019) found that parents and caretakers who actively engage in trauma-informed parent training increased their parent efficacy, trauma-informed skills, misbehavior tolerance, and knowledge and belief system on parenting a child who had been touched by trauma. Numerous other studies suggest that trauma-informed parenting can lead to recovery, increased resilience, and positive growth.

What is Trauma-Informed Parenting?

Trauma-informed parenting involves:

• recognition that childhood trauma is real and that it does require proper intervention to promote healing
• educating oneself on childhood trauma and its impact
• understanding the symptoms of trauma and responding accordingly
• awareness of how your child’s trauma and related behaviors may impact you
• finding ways to mitigate issues that may hinder your ability to provide proper support

Key Areas to Consider

Environment, relationships, and emotions are key themes to consider. A trauma-informed parent seeks to create a safe environment for their child, ensures strong relationships are built with trustworthy individuals, and allows space for their child to safely express emotions.

1. Environment

Creating a safe environment begins with ensuring that basic needs—such as proper nutrition, sleep, and access to medical care—are met. Trauma-informed parents also create a safe environment for their children by recognizing and diminishing external triggers. This includes being aware of the signs that their child is triggered, identifying possible sources, and trying to reduce or remove the trigger. A safe environment entails being purposeful and consistent in routines, structure, praise, and consequences. This provides a sense of security in understanding expectations and in knowing what to expect.

2. Relationships

Trauma-informed parents understand the importance of bonding and connection in overcoming trauma. As such, they strive to continuously strengthen the relationship they have with their child, and they provide opportunities to build relationships with other trusted individuals.

Listening patiently and empathetically, without expectation, assumption, or judgment, is a rule of thumb for trauma-informed parents. They recognize the importance of offering validation, acceptance, and attunement. This means that they are available, visible, and they ensure that their child feels seen and heard.

Trauma-informed parents are self-reflective and continuously work on managing their own emotions. This ensures that they respond appropriately rather than reacting in an ineffective and harmful manner. They recognize that growth takes time, and that setbacks will occur. Additionally, trauma-informed parents stay on top of research and education on childhood trauma, as well as on resources available to best support their child.

3. Emotions

Emotional safety is important for a child’s healthy processing of trauma. Helping a child identify and manage their emotions, without expectation or judgment, is a strong starting point toward healthy processing. Modeling healthy emotional expression, as well as intentional coping strategies and when to use them, is another technique that may increase emotional safety. A trauma-informed parent may also encourage self-confidence and a sense of control by guiding their child in viewing their story through a strengths-based lens.

Trauma Essential Reads

To Tell or Not to Tell: Disclosing Your Painful Past

Healing in Motion

Trauma can be extremely detrimental to a child’s physical, social, and emotional wellness. However, with the proper environment, support, and skills development, children have the ability to heal and grow stronger. Trauma-informed parenting is an essential piece to this healing and growth. With acknowledgment, awareness, and action, parents and caretakers can significantly increase the resiliency and overall well-being of children who have been exposed to trauma.