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I was reminded this past week while working with some of my clients that in a past post I only covered a few hoarding misconceptions. That post was just part of the story about hoarding and those who create the hoard.
There are two other important shaming and painful, false beliefs about this disorder and the people who hoard.
Misconception: Hoarded environments and the people who create them must be messy, dirty and lead chaotic lives.
Not so. There is nothing in the definition of hoarding or the etiology of those who hoard that says they are necessarily dirty, messy, unhygienic or unsafe.
There are hoarded environments that are meticulously clean, tidy and considering the volume of items involved, incredibly well organized.
Consider Philip, who picks up litter and things left behind by others who don’t seem to care that refuse remains in their wake wherever they go. Philip cares. His life long struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder moves his need from “public Service” to “required”. His intent is to clean recyclable items adequately in order for them to be “ok to put out”. “Ok” means the worst of the dirt has been cleaned off and they doesn’t smell up his home or garage. The problem for Philip is there are so many recyclables that he runs out of steam trying to keep up with the volume to be attended to. The other problem for Philip is that this objective to provide community service feeds into his need for that “just right moment” when things he feels responsible for are satisfactorily “Ok”. Philip’s environment, while very full, has a dedicated room for recycling, all very organized with stackable labeled recycling bins. There are piles all over his home but he does his best to keep things “fresh smelling” and clean. Sometimes however life feels overwhelming and the recyclables get ahead of him, worsening his anxiety and undermining his sense of personal competence.
The undeniable issue with hoarding is personal and community safety. The excessive accumulation and the failure to resolve the build-up in a timely way, no matter how neat, tidy, clean or well organized it is, results in a build-up which begins to interfere with access to entrance and exit routes, bedrooms, kitchens, bathrooms, staircases, and basements often crowding heat sources like furnaces, hot water tanks, and electrical panels.
The fuel load caused by combustible materials adds to the intensity and speed that a fire will spread. The fire does not have to be caused by the person who hoards; the same risk exists if it starts elsewhere leaving everyone in all involved locations with an inadequate amount of time to react, respond and escape.
This can also be true where the crisis involves water. In the case of fire response, hosing down the scene of a fire means all combustible items which are often absorbent as well, will weigh considerably more wet than they did dry. Floors have collapsed under the weight of wet items, injuring anyone still in the building, residents as well as first responders.
Another very common misconception is the belief that people who hoard can’t discard.
Not necessarily so. Many people who create a hoarded environment can let go of objects and possessions sometimes better than those who don't hoard.
What is very unlikely however is that there is a balance regarding the volume of what is acquired, saved, and discarded or resolved in some other way.
What happens is that a bottleneck is created. That bottleneck can be at the acquiring stage, the saving stage, or the decision making and resolution stage.
The only variable that makes a difference in how long or how quickly it takes to create high levels of risk is how many points along that continuum of acquiring, saving, and failing to resolve the build-up the person has vulnerabilities or other difficulties with.
Sadly many people are unaware of their underlying vulnerabilities and equate the build-up of possessions to being evidence of their personal deficits and inadequacies, rather than treating themselves with respect and compassion by getting the help they need to identify if comorbidities or common reasons to procrastinate, all solvable issues, are getting in the way of their desired goals.
Just recently, one of my clients named Louise, realized that after many years, of allowing herself to be distracted from her goals by the “tossed in crises of others” and then not having enough time or energy left to manage her own needs, she was playing out an unrealized, longstanding pattern of rebellion against an overly controlling parent, by asserting her autonomy through her chronic failure to finish what she starts.
When Louise worked to change the focus and meaning of goals she sets for herself to be more like loving help she has given other people she was devoted to.
