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It's getting to the end of 2023, which was a momentous one for me in a number of ways, both personal and professional. Most recently, I led the team that hosted a TEDx event. That was a job, that was. We hope to post the videos soon; the talks and performances were wonderful. If you think you might be putting on a TEDx event, email me, and I will send you my insights and learned wisdom from the process.
What follows is a year-end musing on some of the life lessons I've learned, relearned, or discovered again. Enjoy.
Give First. I'm still optimistic, despite all the bad news that cycles and recycles in our 24/7 world information system. And because of that fundamental optimism, I look for opportunities to start a positive cycle of benefit, knowing that the chances for growth and goodness will inevitably follow.
It's the opposite of spam, which drops a request in your lap with no previous connection. Read my book, write a review for me, buy my software system, hire me to increase your sales, and purchase my virtual assistant services. The requests are endless and crowd my inbox minute by minute. It used to be—maybe a few years back, prepandemic—that on American Thanksgiving, that one Thursday, the sales, offers, demands, and pitches would slow down, everyone would take a breath, and there would be a period of calm while we digested our turkey.
Now I notice that the emails just keep coming, more than ever, faster than ever. Instead of partaking in that insatiable economy, do something for someone or some people first. Then, accept the reciprocity that will inevitably follow. It's a better, happier way to live.
Push Your Mind. I easily become a creature of habit. For example, I love Wordle and look forward to the puzzle every morning with my coffee. I like to think it's stretching my mind a little each day. But I have to beware of the habit itself because if I'm not pushing myself to learn something challenging and new, then I'm not demanding enough from my brain to keep it as flexible and open as possible.
So, I often need to shake things up, find new patterns, and stretch my mind. It's not easy, and I'm not particularly expert at it, but the awkwardness, I feel, is a good sign that I'm actually stretching my mind, and that's the important thing. Wordle is getting too easy and comfortable.
Take the Time. I was struck the other day by how long building a successful career can take, even in this era of milliseconds and nano-opportunities. I have seen people in my world of public speaking and thought leadership enter the space with the aim of quickly establishing dominance and expertise—and success. And they naturally want that success ASAP. I'm not saying it can't be done quickly, but real success often follows more slowly. You have to find your niche, and your public has to find you.
That can happen quickly thanks to all the digitally enhanced means of public relations at our disposal now, but usually, it seems to follow a schedule of its own. Where you start is not necessarily where you end up, and trusting in yourself means taking unexpected turns and finding new places to explore. If you can develop a sense of organic growth, you'll be much happier and more grounded as your career inevitably has ups and downs.
Meditate. I get too busy and try to pack too much in, and the first thing that goes is meditation time. It's always a mistake. When I take a deep breath and say to myself, "You'll get there; just pace yourself and take 15 minutes now to meditate," inevitably, space opens up in the calendar for more calm and more productivity than when I'm trying just to squeeze one more item on the to-do list in. I'm still learning this simple fact of the malleability of time.
Be Present. One of the things I struggle most with post-pandemic is symbolized by my Apple watch. It buzzes haptically when a message, a notification, or a timer kicks in. This alert inevitably pulls me out of the moment and into some other place. Sometimes, of course, that place is important too, but it comes at the price of losing the flow where I was and then suffering the switching costs of going in and out of the moment. I have no good solution for this. Turning off the phone for the duration of the present community activity is something I don't always remember to do or feel comfortable doing if some drama is unfolding somewhere else. Still, it is a discipline I need to learn. How do you handle being in two (or more) places at once?
Create Joy. Stephen Pinker tells us otherwise, but the world is convinced and has some evidence that it is the case that the world is in worse shape than ever. There's a darkness in the public discourse and too many people's lives that leave us all too often despairing of the future. We need to consciously plant seeds of hope and create moments of joy to help each other hold the places open in our hearts that will allow us to do the hard things for the future of our planet and our species.
If we believe there is no hope, we aren't motivated to try to improve the world, and that dangerous sophistry leads to a bleak outcome. It's up to all of us to find the positive messages, moments of joy, and small celebrations that will keep us all invested in both our short- and long-term futures.
Give Space. I saw a production recently of "Once Upon a Mattress," the delightful fairy-tale musical take-off on "The Princess and the Pea." It was performed by middle-schoolers and even younger children. Of course, the scene-stealers were the kids who waved at their parents, who sang strongly off-key, and who danced to their own internal rhythm—despite the earnest conducting of the endlessly patient and smiling director. Staying open to different ways of doing things, despite what your expertise tells you must be true, keeps any career and purpose meaningful and fun. Always leave the door open a crack for the winds of difference and change.
What are your takeaways from this year?
