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Key points
- Connecting to your body’s capacity to heal requires skills.
- Persistence is key to learning and implementing them.
- Many people improve, return to their baseline health, and then quit applying their skills.
- Why not attain the highest level of expertise in living life?
The key to healing is persistence in learning to skilfully live life, and many have traveled a long ways down the path. It requires only a willingness to fully engage in learning to create and live the life you want.
For some, escaping the abyss of chronic illness may not seem possible. However, as you connect to your own capacity to heal, anything begins to seem possible. Healing of any part of the body is nothing short of miraculous, but so is the gift of life.
Many people experience significant improvement, feel better, are back to their baseline, and then quit. “I am good enough.” I think that it’s tragic to stop. Your creative brain is coming alive and the potential for future learning and growth is just beginning; possibilities are unlimited. Why would you want to stop?
Here are some reasons.
- Humans are programmed by every second of their lives. Our brains unconsciously record everything. Familiar patterns are not noticed since they are not only already embedded in our brains, but they are our version of reality. Any new or unusual data catches our attention and stimulates some level of threat physiology. We feel anxious and instinctively resist change. So, if you are back to a comfortable baseline, why would you wish to continue?
- There is much anxiety associated with success, if you are used to simply trying to survive. When is the shoe going to drop? A classic example is golf. It is remarkably predictable that when you have shot well for three or four holes, your anxiety levels rise. Your muscle tension increases, and suddenly it seems like you don’t which end of the club to hold. The same holds true in any performance arena at home, work, or even relaxing.
- Examples are present in every kind of performance. Maybe you have been promoted and have a higher profile in your sphere of influence. More eyes are on you, and people might be jealous of your success. They may look for any opportunity to cut you down. There is a term for this phenomenon: “tall-poppy syndrome.” It is easier to just blend in with the crowd.
- Understand that the shoe will always drop. That is life. If your goal is to be in an endless state of bliss, you’ll fail. Life presents an endless number of daily challenges and at some level of stress, your body will respond with threat physiology. Maybe it will last for an hour or even days. It is what your body is supposed to do, to protect you. But you now have choices regarding how long you wish to remain there.
- A different problem arises in that now you have tasted what it is like to be bathed in safety physiology and feel deep contentment. You don’t want to leave. Additionally, when you are triggered and in the red, the contrast is sharp, and you may get more frustrated about what is possible compared with what you are experiencing in the moment. I call this “the curse of awareness.” What you want to do is nurture emotional flexibilty, be present with whatever state you are in, and move in the direction of your choice.
- I experienced what proves to be a common scenario in that I had no idea that there were other possibilities about the way I negotiated my life. For years, I was far too familiar with anger and emotional chaos. I attended workshops, read self-help books, and underwent extensive counseling, but I did not connect with how angry I was until I was 50 years old. It was an incredibly unpleasant experience, and I did not have the tools to deal with it. Healing happens with connection—to yourself and then to those around you. Not wanting to experience unpleasant emotions may be a major reason why people don’t engage in a process of healing or pull up short of really moving forward. One of my friends has often quoted the phrase, “you have to feel to heal.”
Skiing as a Metaphor
A world class skier can ski almost anything humanly possible under reasonable conditions. I used to think I was an expert skier until I skied with U.S. Ski Team skiers who were at a level of expertise I never even imagined. They not only possess a high level of skills, they are supremely confident as a result of putting in thousands of hours of practice.
Many years ago, I was part of a group a group skiing the back side of mountain at Alta, Utah. It was a gorgeous day with lots of new soft powder. We were all “expert” skiers. We were standing in a narrow line waiting to head down the hill. My son, a U.S. Ski Team-level mogul skier, was on transverse about 30 feet above us. We wondered what he wanted us to do. What he wanted was fresh untracked powder, and, without hesitation, he took off and jumped over all of us. It must have been a 40-foot drop, and he landed about 50 feet down the hill. He kept going until the bottom, skiing at a high speed. I realized that his was a reality I was not familiar with.
But consider any performance from art, music, dance, athletics, mechanics, business, or work. Every endeavor can be carried out at the highest level. You might be thinking, “I could never accomplish this level of expertise, and, in a given field, you probably won’t. Or maybe you already have. However, life skills are accessible to everyone and anyone who wants to commit to living an excellent life.
Why not attain the highest level of expertise in living your life? The skills are within the reach of anyone. You may be at a jumping off point for living the rest of your life. Let yourself think big.
