Verified by 
This is Part 2 of the "Things No One Told Me About Getting a Psychology Ph.D." series (see part 1, part 3, part 4, part 5, and part 6) developed and co-authored with Jessica P. Montoro, a fourth-year doctoral candidate in developmental psychology at the University of Michigan.
Just as a reminder: Several of the topics discussed are specific to pursuing a Ph.D. at a research-intensive institution in a full-time, fully-funded program. With that in mind, a “dialogue” is shared between an advisee (Jess) and her advisor (Debbie) to provide two perspectives on a range of different topics. We don’t claim to have these figured out, but we think these posts could be used as springboards for conversations between mentors and mentees.
#2: Knowing your “why” is critical as your identity evolves through the process.
Advisee: I guarantee that you will enter your doctoral program one person, and exit it an entirely different person. Not only will you have gained new skills and have met new people, you will have conquered personal and career challenges. You have cultivated an entire network of new colleagues, collaborators, and life-long friends. You will have endured the growing pains that accompany personal growth, all while navigating multiple transitions (moving, getting accustomed to seasons, separation from family) simultaneously. Not to mention the spiritual growth and emotional maturity acquired along the way. You have embarked on a heroic journey that less than 2% of the population pursues.
You may look around to see minimal diversity in your program, institution, or new place of residence. Unfortunately, too many students of color find themselves being the only one in their department with their identity. On days when that deters you, remember why you pursued a Ph.D. in the first place. Maybe your why is helping people of your ethnic/racial group or people in your neighborhood. Or maybe a challenging personal experience triggered interest in your field.
Amidst your exhaustion (especially in your first year), your why will drive you to finish. And just like Mami and Papi remind me on our weekly Facetime, “voy a acabar” (“I will finish")!
Advisor: Great point. I probably talk to students about having an “inner compass” multiple times a semester. It comes up for various reasons including the issues raised above. The gist of this is having a sense of purpose that is internally-defined (think: collective purpose) rather than externally-driven (think: validation by recognition). A lot of times as a first-gen student of color, you will hear others encouraging you to “keep your eye on the prize,” but the worth of the prize really is in the eyes of the beholder. A tenure-track “dream come true” for one person might be a “gilded cage nightmare” for another who wishes to use their newly-gained skills and talents in a different arena.
Listening to where your inner compass is nudging you toward can help you think about the bigger picture: Why do you want a Ph.D.? What kind of work do you look forward to doing after the Ph.D.? When you imagine a typical day or week, what would you like to be doing, and with whom? When you answer these questions, are your responses based on your own internal reasons, or are they about meeting an external standard or expectation of some kind?
Another way to use your inner compass is to ask yourself what energizes you to persist through challenging moments along the way. I had to figure this out for myself when I was a grad student, and then again as a postdoc ... and then again as an assistant professor. And then again after tenure. Even as a full professor, I still regularly check in with my inner compass! This is good. It helps me reaffirm how and where my work can be a vehicle to make the contributions I want to make to the world, and also where I need to engage other outlets to do so. And it also reminds me I have agency in the process.
