Bibliotherapy for Kids

Bibliotherapy invites the use of carefully prescribed literature to heal many mental and emotional wounds, but it’s not only for adults. Children are naturally drawn to stories, inventing imaginative worlds of their own through play, and often experiencing a deep emotional connection to their favorite fictional characters as the lines between make-believe and reality blur in the early childhood years of development.

Just as reading can help adults overcome anxiety, depression, grief, and more, sitting down with your child to read together can help them navigate their own challenging emotions and experiences. All you need is 20 minutes, a comfortable seat, your little one’s listening ear, and the right book.

Here are five ways that reading with your child can protect their mental health:

1. Promotes Empathy

Research clearly supports the fact that reading fiction increases the reader’s capacity to better understand others (Mar R. A. et al., 2006).

Recent studies have investigated how picture books specifically foster empathy in young children and found that two variables are important. First, children must be deeply immersed in the story. Second, they must find themselves identifying with the protagonist, especially if it is a character who is different from them.

In fact, it takes significantly more cognitive resources to identify with someone in a perceived out-group, making stories about characters who differ from your child the most valuable for empathy-building, as opposed to stories about characters who are like them (Kucirkova N., 2019). The value of empathy is vast, and it is undeniably critical to your child’s success in school, work, and healthy relationships (Riess H., 2017). The more high-quality fiction that your child reads, from a young age, the more empathic human beings they will become.

2. Validates Their Emotions and Experiences

Reading helps children to feel understood and lets them know that they are not alone in their experiences of growing up. Whether you’re reading a story about the complex emotions that arise after becoming a big brother or sister, first-day-of-school jitters, or the mystery of grief following the death of a grandparent, stepping into a character’s shoes in a story offers valuable validation.

Research shows that reading promotes emotion recognition, with fiction in particular being a reliable source of information about complex emotions (Schwering, S. C. et al., 2021). Despite being viewed as a solitary act, reading is often a warm, connected experience in which the stories we read soothe our own complicated feelings. The truth is, behind every book is a writer drawing from their own human experiences, reaching through the page to say, “You are not alone.”

3. Models Valuable Self-Regulation and Social Skills

The right books have the power to teach your child valuable self-regulation and social skills that will shape who they are as they grow. Books like The Invisible Boy, by Trudy Ludwig, which shows children how to be kind and inclusive to peers (and how to hold hope if your child is the one feeling left out), and When Sophie Gets Angry—Really, Really Angry… by Molly Bang, about a little girl who gets really angry, and how she calms herself down, walk your child through difficult situations they likely face in their own lives.

By giving them a chance to take that walk in someone else’s shoes, their brain experiences a new way of responding to the situation described in the story (Tamir, D. I. et al., 2016). This forges neural pathways that will become increasingly accessible, even automatic ways of responding, as they practice these new skills in their own life, and even as they revisit the story again and again. After reading a story about a particular skill you want to help your child develop, you might ask them questions like, “How did Henry decide to solve the conflict with his neighbor? How did that work for him? What do you think about that idea?” This will help your child not only with reading comprehension but also with integrating the ideas you hope they take away from the book.

4. Opens a Nonthreatening Dialogue

Asking open-ended questions as you read, and after the book ends, is a great way to inspire a nonthreatening dialogue with your child about emotions, their own difficult experiences, and how they see themselves. One of the great benefits of reading together for your child’s mental health is that the characters in a book offer a safe object for the projection of their own tricky feelings, thoughts, and struggles.

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Asking open-ended questions about “how the character might feel if…” or “how might the story have been different if the character responded in this way,” can spur a productive conversation that might reveal your child’s own feelings, thoughts, and ways of responding to challenges, giving you valuable insight into your child’s world, and offering an opportunity to support your child without judgment or shame.

As you read, pay attention to whom your child most identifies with in the story and how their face and body respond to the character’s feelings and tricky situations. You can ask, “What stood out to you the most about this story?” to better see from your child’s perspective.

5. Increases Your Connection

Perhaps most important of all is the connection that reading together fosters between you and your child. A regular practice of sitting down together and reading stories, especially those that help your child to feel safe, seen, valued, and supported, can do wonders for the parent-child relationship. Sitting close and cuddling, attending to the book together, and reading aloud, even for older children who already know how to read, can be a comforting, connecting experience.

Helping your child to form a secure attachment is perhaps the most valuable developmental task of childhood. Children with a secure attachment are better problem solvers, have improved executive functioning skills, are less likely to experience mental health challenges, and are more emotionally intelligent, which not only prepares them for success in school but also sets them up for healthy, happy relationships later in life (Deneault, A. et al., 2023; Deneault, A.-A., Hammond, S. I., & Madigan, S., 2023; Schore, A.N., 2001).

Making time to read with your child, no matter how old they are, can help your bond to flourish as you support them in their healthy development, protect their mental health, and let them know they’re not alone in their experience of growing up.