Our Phones Might Be Smart but What About Us?

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The question I get the most from parents regarding technology is, “when do I get my child his or her first cell phone.”

The decision of when to get a smartphone and what kind needs to be a family decision, and parents should be encouraged to involve their children in the process.

There is a lot of support from the phone manufacturers and the cell phone companies to help parents pick a phone and service plan that suits their family needs. Decisions need to be made regarding Android phones versus iPhones, internet capabilities, and, most importantly, phones that enable parents to keep tabs on a child's activity, data usage, and location. Most cellular phone companies offer support for parents based on these big questions.

Parents of today's instant gratification generation have insisted that children need a cell phone in an emergency. Because of this, they've been giving them to their children at younger and younger ages, and they're afraid to take them away.

Many kids don't earn the privilege of a cell phone or help pay for it. To this generation owning one of these phones is their right and it is culturally and socially reinforced every day. The ability to reach their child at any time is a powerful incentive, but it goes even further as parents want to make sure their children get invited to parties and social events, have lots of friends, and are tuned into the latest fad or craze. Cell phones make us think that they will stay connected and never be excluded.

When you first start thinking about getting your child a cell phone, consider what you want them to use it for and decide which phone best fits your family's needs. Once you decide what phone would be the best fit, discuss ways your child can help earn it.

Whatever you decide, it's important to involve your child in the process. Your child needs to earn it based on some combination of responsibility, grades, effort, manners, and helpfulness around the house. Remember to make your child work for it, or they won’t appreciate it.

Parents need to specifically discuss with their children what constitutes appropriate usage of their device and what is unacceptable. There should also be family rules about when and how long it can be used, what apps can be installed, and a discussion about how to safely use the device. Remember, the internet never forgets.

You can’t erase or delete offensive or threatening comments, and children need to be educated about the safe and proper use of their new device. After all these things are in place, your child is in a position to enjoy his or her smartphone in the ways that keep your child safe and lets him or her have fun with friends.

Stress positive interactions with friends as great ways to use the device. At home, you can give your child opportunities to use his or her phone to be helpful or to learn something important and share it with the family. It is always a great idea to model these behaviors for your child when you use your phone. For instance, if the policy is no phones at the dinner table, try to remember to do the same. Our children model what they see more than what they are told.

Smartphones are amazing devices that can do almost everything we are interested in. The saying “there's an app for that” has never been truer. When it comes to children and teens, these phones meet all their needs. They provide instantaneous answers and responses, constant connection to their peers, and intense visual and auditory stimulation.

The smartphone holds a powerful place in a lot of children's lives. Phones, when used responsibly, can be a great addition to the family and enhance communication, thinking, and problem-solving.