The Dangerous Extremes of Belief About Victims

Psychological maturation requires self-awareness, curiosity, an openness to learn, and flexibility to change one’s beliefs and actions. It's important to not get stuck in all-or-nothing concepts, to weigh beliefs on evidence, and to examine how one adopted a belief in the first place. We need to be able to think outside the limitations of the extremes of any totalistic belief.

Believing that there is no such thing as a victim is a dangerous belief that can marginalize and lead to the mistreatment of vulnerable individuals. Many authoritarian cults program members to believe they are God-like and that there is no such thing as an accident, bad luck, or coincidence. They teach, "You create your own reality, and therefore, you manifested being mugged or raped because you needed to learn something."

Unfortunately, however, bad things do happen to good people.. The false teaching that no one is ever victimized is used by some as a way to avoid being accusing of causing harm. Ppeople can be victimized! Predators exist! Systematic authoritarian control over people can indeed cause great harm.

Victimhood is a real phenomenon affecting millions worldwide who are experiencing physical, emotional, or psychological harm at the hands of others. Believing that victims do not exist can lead to blaming the victim and excusing the behavior of perpetrators.

Further, the belief that there are no victims can lead to a lack of empathy and understanding for those who have experienced harm. It can create a culture of dismissiveness toward those suffering, perpetuating cycles of abuse and trauma.

Lastly, the belief that there are no victims can be a form of cognitive immunization, sticking to one’s beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Such a belief can prevent perpetrators from seeing the harm they do and from changing harmful behaviors.

At the other extreme, equally harmful is finding virtue in victimhood. I was deceived and manipulated into a fascist cult, the Moon Organization, in 1974. Yes, it changed my life and led to me do research and becoming a mental health professional, author, and lecturer for almost five decades now. But I do not walk around feeling like a victim of the Moonies. I long ago reclaimed my personhood. Yet, sometimes, people tell me I should move on and forget about having been in a cult. I refuse to stop using my life experience to help others.

Victimhood is often claimed by malignant narcissists, who never take responsibility for the lies and harm they inflict on others. When narcissists like Donald Trump complain that people are persecuting them, they are wielding victimhood as a tool to divert people's attention from the harm they do and to attract support (and, often, money).

Others who are not narcissists can also take on a victim identity. But it is unhealthy for any person to be stuck in the past, to dwell on trauma, including having been born into a destructive cult. There are therapeutic means of evolving beyond past trauma.

Operating with a victim consciousness creates a number of problems. The victim mindset is characterized by a belief that one is constantly being preyed upon by external forces. Those who have a victimhood mindset tend to believe that their life is entirely under the control of others, and they often feel powerless and helpless in the face of adversity. The mindset can also encourage a lack of personal responsibility, a tendency to blame others for problems and shortcomings. Some individuals may use victimhood to seek attention or validation from others.

Healthy functioning requires being in one’s body, with an internal locus of control, in the here and now, with a positive future orientation. It's important to not let any beliefs trap you from exercising your personal power. It is vital for those experiencing a victim mindset to see themselves instead as survivors, incorporate their life experiences into a cohesive narrative, and thrive.

And to consciously examine their beliefs and change them if they are flawed, harmful, or the residue of past indoctrination. I teach, "It is your mind, and only you should control it!"