Fatherhood in 2023

Father and Child, 1947

Source: Father and Child 1947, Frank John Ninivaggi MD Archives

Fatherhood is a milestone, bringing responsibilities, satisfactions, and pleasures through interacting with one's children. Involving another caregiver expands a father's role in meaningful relations. Fatherhood has evolved across cultures, embracing greater depth and complexity. However, fathers face stereotypes of being emotionally detached and solely responsible for financial support. These perceptions are reinforced by societal expectations and sometimes even by mothers. Some fathers may lack adequate socialization as caregivers, but opportunities for improvement abound today. Pausing to reflect on one's current performance, strengths, and areas needing improvement comprise the first steps toward becoming a self-motivated starter. Fathers can and are learning to become more proficient nurturers, impacting their children's well-being.

Academic Awareness of the Social Reality of Fathering

In 1976, Michael Lamb systematized academic perspectives about fathering in his book, The Role of Fathers in Child Development, now in its fifthedition. This focus arose as developmental pediatrics and child psychiatry were burgeoning. Further studies advanced in two areas: clinical interests and descriptive, sociological, and demographic data recording. Clinical child psychiatry generated many theories, with surviving psychological and behavioral ideas forming the basis of current views on interpersonal relationships, marriages, families, and parent-child interactions.

Sociologically, census data show that of the 73.6 million children under 18 in the U.S., 70 percent live with two parents, 22 percent live with a mother only, and 4.5 percent live with a father only. Of mother-only households, 75 percent work outside the home; of father-only homes, 85.7 percent work outside the home. In two-parent households, when both parents work full time, fathers most often say that job and career take priority; 15 percent of mothers say they are more focused on their careers. In two-parent households where the father works full time, 63 percent of fathers say they are more focused on their career; 4 percent of mothers who work part-time say their job takes priority (PEW, 2015; US census, 2022).

Trends in fathering show that while the time spent by fathers providing childcare has increased, it now has leveled off. Fathers' physical child-care tasks, such as putting a child to sleep, averaged 20 minutes per day, and developmental childcare, like reading to a child, averaged 12 minutes per day. This is two to three times greater than in 1985, but roughly equivalent to 2004 and 2012. Studies show mothers spend about twice as much time providing physical and developmental care (Schoppe-Sullivan, 2020). Richer environmental contexts, exposure to broader educational resources, political and policy incentives, and newer generational norms have contributed to these changes for fathers (Bakermans-Kraneburg et al., 2019).

Is the Role of Fathers Describable?

The relative roles of mothers and fathers in familial, cultural, and social contexts are widely accepted. However, the role of fathers may not be describable in a way similar to that of mothers; fatherhood may remain open and more fluid. Fathers have unique and complementary roles varying individually, albeit with checkered stereotypes. Enduring and comprehensive maternal involvement is crucial for caregiving and encompasses nurturing qualities necessary for effective parenting. This transactional sensitivity (Ninivaggi, 2013) refers to the ability to understand and respond to the needs and expectations of others, particularly in the context of parenting. Childcare involves the conscious and unconscious communication of needs and expectations that helps create a meaningful and purposeful interaction. Mothering entails this sensitivity of emotions, meaning, and care to fulfill the child's requirements for material resources, affection, comfort, and mental stimulation, all vital in promoting emotional development. Recognizing the significance of mothers' roles emphasizes the importance of a collaborative approach between fathers and mothers.

However, fatherhood faces challenges because of simplified and rigid stereotypes—explicit or implicit expectations about personality, appearance, or abilities. While stereotypes may contain partial truths, their inflexibility, and excessive negativity can lead to misunderstandings and erroneous ideas.

Traditionally, fathers were seen as less involved in childcare due to social gender expectations. But with changing dynamics and working mothers, fathering now takes on expanded caregiving roles (Ninivaggi, 2013). Fathers contribute to caregiving through accessibility (i.e., physical and psychological presence), engagement, and responsibility and provide economic and emotional support while serving as role models, challenging stereotypes, and promoting gender equality. Single fatherhood and non-traditional families have also emerged, expanding the concept of fatherhood through medical advancements (e.g., in vitro fertilization) and adoption accessibility.

In Defense of Fathers

Traditional stereotypes about fathers and fatherhood are changing rapidly. Fatherhood is no longer seen as a compromise between conflicting imperatives—self-care and childcare. The roles of the mother as the primary caregiver and the father as the sole breadwinner have contributed to these stereotypes, but are becoming less prevalent. Today, fathers have more access to education and social media, which offer new options. Many fathers are motivated to enhance their parenting skills and meet their children's needs. While fathers may spend less time with their children than mothers do, on average, the quality of their interactions can be highly valuable.

Engaged and direct interaction is essential for father-involved caregiving. This dynamic participation requires active listening to spouses/partners and children, patience, thoughtful problem-solving, and a family climate of open, interactive communication. Unlike mothers, fathers may need to give focused attention to their parenting roles intentionally. Fathers who establish fair and firm boundaries without force contribute to appropriate discipline within the family. Trust, a crucial aspect of a child's relationship with both parents, develops through regular and consistent interactions. Fathers often engage in stimulating and entertaining activities with children, while mothers tend to be more structured and directive. Parenting styles, as long as they remain sensitive to children's needs, build trust and provide a secure foundation for their growth.

Parenting Essential Reads

Responsive, Sensitive Parenting and Healthy Development

Do Parents Always Need to Validate Children's Feelings?

Like sensitive mothering, sensitive fathering positively affects children's economic/material security, intellectual growth, and language development, including the emotional development of both male and female children. Fathers' emotional modulation and flexibility, conveyed through facial expressions and interactions, support children's personal development and offer models of emotional self-management.

Involved fathering has many benefits for the outcomes of children, such as fewer legal issues, teen pregnancies, divorce rates, and substance abuse. It also improves literacy and math skills and reduces gender stereotypes and aggression. Fathers serve as positive male role models for their sons and shape their daughters' expectations and interactions with males. The absence or withdrawal of a father can lead to psychological problems, delinquency, and substance abuse in children. Cooperative parenting and fathers' transactional sensitivity are crucial for a positive family dynamic and contribute to children's cognitive and emotional development (Sarkadi et al., 2020; Lamb, 2020).

Fathering in Perspective

Fathering encompasses engagement, involvement, accessibility, protection, providing material and economic support, socialization of children, and household responsibilities. Fathers' participation is not merely about providing goods or services, but involves a reciprocal and sensitive relationship on many nurturing levels. Responsibility and accountability bring the pleasures associated with having and raising children (Pleck & Masciadrelli, 2020).

Active engagement involves listening to spouses/partners and children, thus promoting children's learning and development. Fathers' meaningful language interactions begin with attentive listening, are empathetic, and address the child's developmental needs at the moment, thus significantly impacting children's socialization. Fathers' attention to family dynamics and member interactions is essential and influences how the family operates directly and indirectly through economic and emotional support, particularly toward the mother. How fathers treat and interact with their spouses is an influential model for children to observe and emulate over time. Effective fathers establish fair and firm boundaries, demonstrating appropriate discipline and emotional self-control. They are increasingly conscious of workplace stress and burnout, actively fostering a healthier work-life balance and prioritizing quality family time.

Father-child relationships rely on trust, built through consistent and positive interactions like feeding, playing, and showing affection. Offering predictable and dependable care supports and demonstrates genuine availability, materially and emotionally, and encourages trust. This nurturing approach fosters the well-being and development of children and the family (Pasley et al., 2002).

Fatherhood in 2023

In 2023, fatherhood has evolved beyond traditional norms and outdated stereotypes. Despite enduring societal expectations, fathers are increasingly taking on an active role in childcare. Although challenges and stereotypes still exist, non-traditional family structures have emerged.

Fatherhood encompasses active participation, accessibility, safeguarding, and support. Fathers receptive to feedback and willing to learn have access to resources aiding their self-improvement. Building trust through nurturing childcare is achieved through consistency and support, enabling fathers to contribute to their children's well-being. Embracing open-minded attitudes that promote trust is promising, beneficial, and conducive to success.